Momma Earp

CowboyOne of Hubs’ favorite movies is Tombstone, and I don’t get it.  Evidently you need a fair amount of testosterone coursing through your veins to understand the allure of this movie.  In Hubs’ favorite scene, Wyatt Earp stares down the Bad Guys, his gaze steely and his jaw twitching, and he growls, "You tell ’em I’m comin’, and I’m bringin’ Hell with me."  And every time–every time–Hubs’ fists punch the air and he whoops in manly approval.  We have to rewind to watch that scene again.  And again.  And I just don’t get it. 

Until last weekend.

It was a long day.  We had a houseful of little boys for a sleepover the night before, and they stayed up late.  Then at the crack of dawn, we were awakened by the unmistakable sounds of Nintendo.  The savages had awakened at six-flippin’-thirty on a Saturday morning.  The day drug on, including an episode of car trouble and a soccer match in icy wind.  Exhausted, we decided we were due a nice dinner.   We hauled our rowdy crew to our favorite Mexican food place, where a live band was playing.  Over-tired and over-stimulated, the savages were predictably savage as we endured the dreaded "can’t-they-control-their-kids" stares from fellow patrons.  Corrie dumped a plate of rice in the floor, and Stephen found a way to flip tortilla chips across the table using only a knife.  Good times. 

Summoning my last ounce of patience, we came home and headed the kids to bed, but they had other plans.  The armpit noises during prayer time was what finally sent me over the edge.

"That’s IT!" I shouted, in the snarliest mom-voice I could muster.  "You’re going to bed, and I’m going downstairs, and if I have to come back up here…"  And I’m not kidding, for some reason that movie line popped into my head, and it took every ounce of my will power NOT to say "…I’m bringin’ Hell with me!" 

Now where in the heck did THAT come from?  I guess this ol’ momma has a little more fire in her belly than I thought. 

31 thoughts on “Momma Earp

  1. Perri says:

    My inner mom says you should have done it – my practical mom says way to show restraint.
    It’s that whole good angel bad angel on my shoulder thing again.
    dang good angel

  2. Doug V. (stuck in Michigan) says:

    TOMBSTONE IS THE BOMB!!! Actually, it’s the 2nd bomb. Cool Hand Luke is the best thing since sliced bread, but “Hubs” has excellent taste in movies. If I remember correctly, Wyatt Earp says that right before he begins hunting down the Clantons and McLowry’s in Earnest. Good stuff.
    Great Blog! Keep up the good work. My wifey and I enjoy keeping up with all your escapades.
    Doug V.

  3. peach says:

    Great job at exercising restraint, Shannon! Don’t know that I would have been so diplomatic!
    It’s good for all for the mama to have a little fire in her belly. I guess the problem comes when the fire exits her mouth. I am proud of you!!

  4. Christy says:

    Shannon, I just love you.
    That was AWESOME. I was right there with ya through the whole saga. And you’re better than I, for I would have said it.
    You go, girl.

  5. Heth says:

    Go get ‘um Shannon! That was hilarious. I think the problem was “The savages had awakened at six-flippin’-thirty on a Saturday morning.” When that happens, it’s only gonna get worse as the day goes on.

  6. chilihead says:

    ROFL! Good stuff, friend. That has to be my favorite post so far (and that’s saying something!)
    BTW, I love Tombstone. “I’ll be your huckleberry.” Val Kilmer was great in that one.

  7. Christy in TN says:

    Oh, I needed a good belly laugh this morning! Thanks! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who can only take so much before the fire ignites. … Gosh, it makes me wonder how many times God has been tempted to point his finger at me and utter those words when I fiddled around and goofed off and didn’t listen and chose my own way pretending I didn’t hear and just plain wore out His patience with me. Now that’s a sobering thought. I’m glad He has shown restraint. And I’m thankful for our Intercessor. And grateful once again that having children teaches us more of the heart of our Father toward us. Thanks for the laugh AND the light bulb this morning.

  8. Ann says:

    I have soooo been there, Shannon! I love reading your posts and can identify with so much of your journey! Blessings to you and your family today.

  9. GiBee says:

    OH.MY.WORD — that was SOOO FUNNY!
    Oh, Shannon … having worked with youth, I probably WOULD have used that expression … sometimes you just have to scare them a bit, ya know what I mean???

  10. Carol says:

    It’s biblical. I’m sure of it. Must be in Proverbs. Something like: Sons, heed your father’s warning and listen to your mothers teaching. Awaken not before their time of rest is complete lest the rocks of hell’s dryer fall upon you.
    Or maybe it’s in Hezekiah? Or maybe it’s just in the Gospel of Carol.

  11. Rabbit says:

    I love your blog! 🙂 Tombstone is one of my all-time favorites. “You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?” Wyatt and his buddies are some mighty fine-lookin men…just turn the sound off and enjoy the scenery.

  12. Theresa says:

    Hilarious Shannon…my father is a HUGE fan of Tombstone here. I enjoyed it…especially the line, “I”ll be your huckleberry”! That’s what I thought you were going to type but your hubby’s line is much more appropiate…loved it!

  13. Julie says:

    You are hysterical. I’m with you on the movie. I don’t get it. My FIL LOVES Tombstone (I’ve actually been there several times). It’s going to take all my self-control to keep that expression from coming out my mouth now. But we’ve ALL had one of those days.

  14. Rabbit says:

    I have to comment again. How can you not “get” Tombstone? Oh those MEN! They’re hunkalicious. Here’s how much I love Tombstone: I watched it while I was in labor. TWICE. 🙂

  15. Sandra says:

    Sigh, been there so many times. I guess you get to a point where nice words don’t work anymore LOL
    I’m sure sometime today I will either say that or come very close to….will let you know how the reaction goes LOL

  16. Heather says:

    Too funny! My mom never said those exact words, but I knew when the fire came into her eyes when we’d gone too far. And it wasn’t a pretty thing.
    (I don’t understand Tombstone either by the way, but I do understand when enough is enough!!)

  17. mimi2six says:

    That is absolutely hilarious! I’m impressed by your restraint! You probably DON’T remember the times I did not restrain my mouth when you were a child!!! You and your brother gasped in horror when I occasionally yelled, “Shut up!” (one of those naughty words in our house) I just tried to salvage the moment by using it as an opportunity to explain that we’re all sinners….even moms….and I’d pray in front of you and ask God to forgive me. What else is there to do at that point?????

  18. Nettie says:

    Funny, Funny post! I love how you call them the savages. We use that phrase from Tombstone all the time around here. Only we say, “Tell them I’m coming, and Mel’s coming with me!” Mel is my DH. Loses all the fire that way, though.

  19. Kathryn, The DYM says:

    You..ARE..AWESOME. That made me laugh so hard. At this point, we just stick to “If you do…there will be some very bad consequences.” That freaks her out. I haven’t had to pull Hell out of my holster yet, but I’ll keep that in mind.

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