I had to share what my dad sent to me in an e-mail. I wish I could take credit for writing it! To those of you born southerners, you’ll know exactly what all this means.
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but
they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines … and when we’re in line we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, “y’all” is singular….“all y’all” is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin’," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say "Bless her heart"… and go your own way.
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff … bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’all’s front porch that reads "I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
(Back to Shannon here)…Let me just add one more. If you know who the woman in this picture above is; if you have read and watched her life story numerous times; if you can quote the "As God Is My Witness" speech with perfect voice inflection…then you, my friend, are a true Southerner.