Thursday Thirteen: Soccer Mom


Our family loves soccer; two of my three sons play it, and we all enjoy watching it.  Some of the lessons have come a little more easily than others…

  1. If there is a kid on the other team with a really European-sounding name like Sergio or Ivan, you’re in deep doo-doo.
  2. All of the lessons about "turning the other cheek" and "loving your enemy" that you’ve tried to teach your children will suddenly be very hard to remember when you see a really big kid on the other team violently push your son down and not get called on the foul, and you’ll really want to go out there and give that really big kid a piece of your mind, and then you’ll realize you’re becoming the over-bearing soccer mom you’ve always made fun of and you’ll feel bad about that and will be very grateful that no one sitting around you can read your mind.
  3. It’s a "match" not a "game"; it’s a "pitch", not a "field" and it’s a "kit" not a "uniform".
  4. Incorrect use of the above terminology will elicit exasperated sighs from 7-year-old boys.  And 34-year-old husbands.
  5. Taking a one-year-old girl to a soccer match is like taking an octopus to an art gallery.
  6. If you show up to the match and learn that the other team is called The Crushers, it would be a good idea to go ahead and get the first aid kit out of the mini-van now.
  7. There will be another mom on the team who is beautiful and thin and tan and makes it all look very easy. 
  8. You might be tempted, when it’s your family’s week to bring snacks, to be all responsible and bring something nutritious.  This will not go over well with seven-year-old boys.  Go with the M&Ms.
  9. The wind in Oklahoma can turn a fold-up chair into a missile.
  10. If a helicopter flies over the field pitch while five year olds are playing soccer, you might as well call a time-out so everyone can stop and look and point.
  11. The amount of time it takes you to lug all your gear (lawn chairs, stroller, blankets, snacks, cooler, etc) to your seat is directly proportional to the likelihood that your child will need to drop everything and run to the bathroom.
  12. The bathroom at a soccer complex is a scary place.
  13. When your child makes a great play, and he looks straight at his Daddy to make sure he saw, and Daddy flips him a thumbs-up, and your child glows with the glow of an Olympic medalist, then it’s all worth it.   

If you’re doing a Thursday Thirteen over at your place, leave a link below!

Posted in: Fun

32 thoughts on “Thursday Thirteen: Soccer Mom

  1. Katherine says:

    I love this. My youngest two were practically born on athletic fields, and trust me, I am not the thin, tan one making it all look easy. Beautiful, maybe (HAR HAR!). Seems like I always manage to be taking someone to the scary bathroom during my athlete’s Big Play. I hope they are not scarred for life by my conspicuous absences during their moments of glory! Awesome post!

  2. Jon Tillman says:

    It’s a “match” not a “game”; it’s a “pitch”, not a “field” and it’s a “kit” not a “uniform”.

    Actually, it’s a fixture, not a match….
    …octopus to an art gallery….
    Thanks, that made my day…

  3. Susanne says:

    Right off the bat #1 made me ROFL! And it went on from there! I see this drama unfold almost daily during the season across the street from my front windows. And I didn’t know the lady lugging all the chairs and holding onto a little octopus was you Shannon! You’ll have to cross the street and come for coffee next time! :v)

  4. April says:

    From one soccer mom to another – Loved this list! I have been there with #2 and it really brings out the mama bear in me. My 8 year old daughter has definitely learned to stand up for herself on the soccer field.

  5. sam says:

    Great list! I have four soccer players of my own and can identify with each item on the list, especially #2. I recently posted pictures (via links – darn blogger) of mine from the first year they all played together and this year. I so enjoy being a soccer mom.

  6. Barbara H. says:

    We were baseball rather than soccer people, but some of the same lessons apply. 🙂
    I used to be almost anti-sports because I had suffered such humiliation due to them as I was growing up….but when my guys played, we were blessed with great coaches, and I saw there were a lot of valuable things to learn from it.

  7. laura says:

    hello from the anti-soccer mom….that’s what my husband playfully called me when darling daughter #1 played. he was her coach.
    now i am a PTA reject….you can see that it is true in my thursday thirteen list this week. 🙂
    great list and i am glad you played.

  8. Addie says:

    Loved this post! I was a rookie soccer mom last spring and it only took one look, shot at me by my husband, to realize that I was about to step over the line and become an over-bearing soccer mom. The girls get pretty rough out there too. I was shocked at all the shoving, pushing and talking smack amongst these kindergarten girls!
    And thanks for the lingo lesson (#3) … I had no idea. 🙂

  9. Dapoppins says:

    #5 is one reason we don’t do sports.
    And #7.
    And the fact that my homebody sons are convinced it is just an excuse to get them to run back and forth.
    Great list!

  10. Michelle says:

    Oh my this one is good and funny! I know what you mean about having an octopus on hand!
    Thanks for visiting my TT. I did have a conviction and changed my #11. The drug references were risque enouph. 🙂

  11. kailani says:

    My daughter’s been talking about playing soccer. I can just imagine all of this happening! LOL! The snacks one reminds me of an episode from Everybody Loves Raymond.

  12. Firefly says:

    I’ve been seeing links to your blog all over the place, but I finally decided to come on over and check it out for myself. I’m glad to find a fellow Thursday Thirteener! Nice list. I am thankful that we never got into the whole soccer thing with my girls. I don’t think I have the stamina and I would probably worry myself silly over possible injuries. Nice to meet you! :o)

  13. Jenny says:

    I like your list! My boy just started playing t-ball, your list made me think of my new experiences on the field. We are taking snacks next week…thanks for the tip. (I guess if they are all sugered up-I’m only taking one boy home..)
    Jenny in Ca

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