Our family loves soccer; two of my three sons play it, and we all enjoy watching it. Some of the lessons have come a little more easily than others…
- If there is a kid on the other team with a really European-sounding name like Sergio or Ivan, you’re in deep doo-doo.
- All of the lessons about "turning the other cheek" and "loving your enemy" that you’ve tried to teach your children will suddenly be very hard to remember when you see a really big kid on the other team violently push your son down and not get called on the foul, and you’ll really want to go out there and give that really big kid a piece of your mind, and then you’ll realize you’re becoming the over-bearing soccer mom you’ve always made fun of and you’ll feel bad about that and will be very grateful that no one sitting around you can read your mind.
- It’s a "match" not a "game"; it’s a "pitch", not a "field" and it’s a "kit" not a "uniform".
- Incorrect use of the above terminology will elicit exasperated sighs from 7-year-old boys. And 34-year-old husbands.
- Taking a one-year-old girl to a soccer match is like taking an octopus to an art gallery.
- If you show up to the match and learn that the other team is called The Crushers, it would be a good idea to go ahead and get the first aid kit out of the mini-van now.
- There will be another mom on the team who is beautiful and thin and tan and makes it all look very easy.
- You might be tempted, when it’s your family’s week to bring snacks, to be all responsible and bring something nutritious. This will not go over well with seven-year-old boys. Go with the M&Ms.
- The wind in Oklahoma can turn a fold-up chair into a missile.
- If a helicopter flies over the
fieldpitch while five year olds are playing soccer, you might as well call a time-out so everyone can stop and look and point.
- The amount of time it takes you to lug all your gear (lawn chairs, stroller, blankets, snacks, cooler, etc) to your seat is directly proportional to the likelihood that your child will need to drop everything and run to the bathroom.
- The bathroom at a soccer complex is a scary place.
- When your child makes a great play, and he looks straight at his Daddy to make sure he saw, and Daddy flips him a thumbs-up, and your child glows with the glow of an Olympic medalist, then it’s all worth it.
If you’re doing a Thursday Thirteen over at your place, leave a link below!