And Then He Kissed Me

My nine-and-a-half-year-old son sat next to me in church last night.  I looked at him and noticed a piece of white fuzz in his hair.  I reached up, picked it out, and scratched him briefly on the head.  And then, without any prompting, without a look or a sound, he leaned over and kissed me quickly on the cheek. 

Just like that. 

I spend a lot of time wondering about this firstborn child of mine.  Am I pushing him too hard?  Not hard enough?  Does he resent how much time I spend with his siblings?  Is he making good choices?  Should we give him more priviliges?  The wheels in my momma-brain seldom stop spinning where this boy is concerned.

But then, in a moment so simple and sacred that I caught my breath, my boy kissed me on the cheek.  On his own. 

Just like that.

And I know we’re doing fine.

24 thoughts on “And Then He Kissed Me

  1. Big Mama says:

    Well that could be one of the sweetest things ever. Nothing means more to me than those fleeting moments when I know I’m doing okay with this whole motherhood thing.

  2. Shannon in Arizona says:

    that is sweet shannon….i wonder the samething about M. i was in the shower the other night really feeling down and out. i was telling myself everything from how ugly i was to how stupid i was. i got out of the shower, sat on our bed and i started to cry. i hear M coming up the hallway and and i stop crying and become all “mommy” like for him. he put his hands on my knees and looked at me and said, “mama, you pretty.” he turned around and walked out, needed nothing from me, but he had no idea what he just gave me…..

  3. Heather says:

    How sweet! What an awesome memory he gave you! Your little man sounds exactly like my 8 year old. I have heard him argue over taxes with his best friend, pronounce archaeopteryx without blinking an eye and he also watches speed limits. He is getting to the point where it’s uncool to kiss or hug me in public, but he gives the best hugs and kisses at night when the shades are down. Now I need to fix my mascara…

  4. Mom2fur says:

    Oh, my gosh, don’t you just love it? My oldest (now 24) does NOT kiss or hug. He’ll shake your hand if you ask him to. But you don’t get mushy with him–and he’s been like this since he was little. So once, when he forgot himself and told me he loved me at the end of a phone call, I almost fell out of my chair. You truly hold on to such precious moments!

  5. Shalee says:

    In and amongst all the clutter of motherhood, there are moments where the worth of what you are doing becomes crystal clear. I think your son just summed up his love for you. Isn’t it great to KNOW that you are loved and that you matter?

  6. Tara says:

    And I bet the older mom who’s sons are grown and gone sitting behind you somewhere just about cried as well! ๐Ÿ™‚ I love those moments. I was getting ready for church myself yesterday and my oldest (6) came up and hugged me and my big pregnant belly. Love those tender moments!

  7. Lari says:

    Too sweet! My almost 10 yo (next month YIKES!) son has become much more reluctant to give me kisses so every hug and kiss I do get is that much sweeter. Emjoy that sweet boy!

  8. Mrs. Flinger says:

    Can we please please blame pregnancy hormones because I got a little teary and that’s just silly of me now, isn’t it?
    My daughter did that one day last week when I was feeling so horribly nauseated with #2 and she just up and kissed me. And gave me a huge hug.
    I wasn’t so upset about having to throw up later that day. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. GiBee says:

    This is a moment to tresure… And Shannon, you have such a sweet and wonderful way with words! Talent, my friend… talent. Your children will appreciate every word you’ve written about them when they are older. Even words about goose poop!

  10. Hillary says:

    Beautiful post! Kids are so sweet (and often the ones who tech us the most about grace!) You’re doing a fine job with him! ๐Ÿ™‚
    (I found you via Sarah Cool’s blog, by the way!)

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