Things I Am Not Buying For Christmas Gifts, but OH MY WORD, I Am Tempted

First, we have the Left Behind gym shorts.  This picture is the BACK of the shorts…get it?  Left behind?

Leftbehindshort_300

Buckle Or what about Scrolling LED Rhinestone Jewelry, seen at right?  You can program in your own little message for all the world to see.  Now that I think about it, this might be handy for a mom.  All those sentences you repeat 439 times a day you could just program RIGHT INTO YOUR BELT BUCKLE:  "Shut the door and stop heating the neighborhood!" or "Don’t stand on your brother’s face!"  See?  Classy and practical.

ToweletteYou might be happy to see this next thing tucked in your stocking if, like me, you occasionally find yourself a bit stessed and snippy on Christmas morning.  It’s the Wash Away Your Sins Moist Towlette!  How very handy.

Wearing this next gift idea, you’d be a real hit at the next PTA meeting.  It’s a leather bracelet embossed with a skull and crossbones! Just what all the mommybloggers today are wearing! 

Bracelet

Then there’s everything at this siteALL OF IT.  This stuff makes me laugh out loud.

Earlier tonight I was watching TV and saw an ad suggesting that we all buy our loved ones lottery tickets.  For Christmas.  Yes, because nothing says O Holy Night like the Oklahoma Powerball, baby.

So, what clever gift ideas are you resisting the urge to buy for the joker on your list?

Posted in: Fun

24 thoughts on “Things I Am Not Buying For Christmas Gifts, but OH MY WORD, I Am Tempted

  1. edj says:

    Bright yellow leather men’s slippers/shoes, decorated with stitchery, from Morocco. Oh wait, I don’t always resist those. πŸ˜‰ They look really funny with his sky-blue Mauritanian pants, which are wider than he can reach, belted in, and hang in folds round his knees. Wanna party with us? πŸ˜‰

  2. Lari says:

    I love that Demotivators website. My BIL got a calendar and mug from his kids last year for Christmas. We all laughed so hard.

  3. Milehimama says:

    Sorry, but it’s nothing compared to the all-time tackiest Christmas gift –
    Planned Parenthood sells chocolate birth-control shaped candy – to go with their “Choice on Earth” Christmas cards.
    Sometimes, my spam leaves me speechless!
    I do like that wash away your sins towelette – is it lemon scented?

  4. Christy says:

    Thanks for the laugh this morning! This was a very funny post. We actually got my parents a gag gift this Christmas. It is a calendar called Out of Office Countdown. Here is the link:
    http://www.simpleliving.net/main/item.asp?itemid=998
    We a have few differences politically, so we thought we would let them know we can joke around right along with them. Hopefully, they will think it is funny as well…
    By the way, congrats on being a finalist in the Weblog Awards-

  5. Barbara H. says:

    ThinkGeek has a lot of cool, weird stuff. My son just bought some plush stuffed germs for a gag gift for his S.S. class Christmas party. The Mad Cow one was white with black spots. πŸ™‚
    On a sad note, though, while searching for something else online this morning, one site advertised in their side panel the “Cursin’ Swear Bear Talking Plush” — a stuffed bear that says bad words. 😦

  6. Rachel says:

    Oklahoma ain’t the only state wishing their lottery on people as Christmas gifts. Ohio here has a WHOLE campaign for getting people to give lottery tickets as Christmas gifts.

  7. Big Mama says:

    Nothing says Christmas like a scrolling LED rhinestone belt.
    My favorite thing I’ve seen this Christmas is the toilet monster that pops up when someone opens the lid to the toilet. It would be perfect for my brother in law who never tires of bathroom humor.

  8. Stephanie says:

    Omigosh – that Despair website – too too funny. Thanks for sharing that. My dh is a manager – he will die reading those posters LOL

  9. udandi says:

    my best friend just gave me the LED scrolling message belt for my birthday – ha! I work at a library so I think it will be very useful in reminding patrons of library policy without having to constantly repeat it! πŸ˜‰

  10. Lucy says:

    My inlaws give lottery tickets for Christmas. Oh yes they do. Most years they even come in State Lottery mugs. *snicker.*
    Thanks for the great ideas! I actually know people who would wear the skull and crossbones to the PTA meetings. In fact, they probably do. πŸ™‚

  11. Jaime says:

    I had no less than 50 students who sported those scrolling LED buckles. We had to confiscate a few due to the messages they were sending. . .
    PA also has a whole campaign for Christmas Lotto. So funny. My sister’s in-laws give everyone in the family lotto tickets in their stocking every year. This year, since their son became so religious, he asked not to receive them. So they’re buying mega candy bars instead.

  12. Jane says:

    Staying with the inlaws for 10 days. They have 2 bathrooms. One is the “Show Bath.” The other is in their master bedroom. You read that right. The show bath plumbing is not hooked up. So to shower, I have to use their master bathroom. Last year the show bath toilet clogged and in the middle of the night if I had to pee I had to go in their bedroom to use their bathroom. Needless to say, I would love to get them a plumber for Christmas!

  13. Jennifer says:

    My husband LOVED the despair site. Our pastor’s wife actually gave out the Wash Away Your Sins towlette this past Sunday, they found them for $.01 each and thought they were funny. I’m thinking you can’t get individually wrapped towlettes for $.01!! Thank you for the laughs!

  14. Kel says:

    Love that Despair website! Some of those are so funny that they’re NOT funny, if you know what I mean… The sacrifice one with the pawns that says if you work hard enough and give it your all, you’ll make someone else successful – that’s just the kind of statement that would send my husband into a deep depression for about an hour.

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