In case you hadn’t noticed, by my super-short and less-than-inspired posts lately, I’m pretty funky these days. And I don’t mean funky as in "hip," I mean funky as in "if Daylight Savings doesn’t get here soon I’m going to put my head through a wall."
This weekend, my husband must have asked my sorry-looking self a dozen times, "what’s wrong?" until I finally gave them answer that explained it all: "It’s February."
February has been my hardest month for as long as I can remember. I find myself frequently curled up in a little ball on the sofa, letting my to-do list grow and grow as I try to clear my muddy thoughts. Is it the lack of sunshine? The post-Christmas let-down? I don’t really know–but it’s very real. In the days before my depression diagnosis, my February Funk was often quite serious. I distinctly remember one February, years ago, in which I had a rare chuckle and realized that my smiling muscles were actually rusty from lack of use. Nowadays, the funk is more of a "normal" wave of the blues. For that, I’m thankful.
And of course, here I have to insert the disclaimer where I admit I have nothing to complain about–I have healthy children, a happy marriage, a comfy home, etc. etc. (That "disclaimer" is never very far behind me, always making me feel guilty for battling the Funk, which in turns make me Funkier, and on and on…)
After many years of February blues, I have managed to learn some little coping strategies: Plan something to look forward to (this year we’re taking a little mini-vacation at the end of February). Create something with my hands (which is always therapeutic for me, regardless of the time of year. This year I’m working on a little dealihoo I might show you if it doesn’t turn out horribly.) And the biggest thing?
Remember God’s faithfulness. Remember how good it feels to laugh. Remember how much He’s blessed me. Remember that He walks us through the wilderness sometimes so we can gain a different perspective. Remember that springs comes, both in the weather, and in my heart.
Next time you have some time to kill, stroll over to Bible Gateway and do a search on the word "remember", just in Psalms. So many of those verses talk about how David coped through dark days by remembering brighter ones. Many more of the verses remind of us God’s faithfulness to remember us, even when we can’t see Him.
A coping strategy I would not recommend is eating half a can of Pringles before lunch. Which I did today, incidentally. I didn’t feel particularly perky afterwards. Just greasy.
In summary? Psalms=good idea. Pringles=not so much.
And so, if the tone seems a little blech around here, know that everything is fine, truly, and just bear with me. When March comes, I turn into a pleasant person again. Until then, you’ll find me over here on the couch, remembering.
And eating Pringles.