That Boy.

I flipped on my garbage disposal to hear the sickening grind of metal against metal.  Further investigation with a flashlight revealed that there were toenail clippers there.

In the disposal.

Toenail clippers.

Remembering that six-year-old Joseph had been clipping his toenails earlier, I easily ascertained the guilty party.  He confessed, and I scheduled a repair, to the tune of $167.

I explained to the boys that until the repair was complete, we could not put any solid foods in the disposal, and Joseph shrugged.  "That’s okay, Mom," he said.  "I’ll just use the one upstairs instead."

And I would’ve appreciated the boy’s flexibility, except that we do not have a garbage disposal upstairs.  Suddenly the slow drain in my master bath sink is making more sense.

That boy.

He is the same little creature who instigated the Great Mini-Van Incident of 2006, and he once poured chocolate syrup on the dog to "find out if she’d run faster."  (Incidentally, a dog covered in chocolate syrup not only runs faster, she also rubs up against your sofa more quickly and efficiently.) 

He has poured honey on my carpet and stuck semi-chewed Starburst to my wall.  He has ridden laundry baskets down my staircase and he has dropped crayons down my air-conditioning vent. 

He has made my hair gray and my checkbook empty, and he has made my heart very full.

I looked into his brown eyes as he shrugged at me tonight, and I laughingly wondered to myself how much this child has cost us.  As I kissed the top of his grass-smelling head, I knew he was worth it.  Every penny.

62 thoughts on “That Boy.

  1. julie@lovelaughterlaundry says:

    Maybe the realiziation that you are not alone will make you feel a little better.
    We have had to replace our garbage disposal once because of some little toys that had been thrown down there and would not dislodge.
    However, I agree. They are worth the money. The kids, I mean. lol.

  2. Diatribal says:

    Ha! I had always heard that girls are more expensive…perhaps not, in your case!
    The good news is, you will have plenty of stories to share with the other grandparents, some day.

  3. Naomi says:

    I needed to have a look at your blog, just because of the name. My almost two year old uses our clothes dryer – which sadly lives on the floor – to store his toy trucks. And each time I go to use it I forget about this fact, until I hear the inevitable clunk… Thank God I don’t have a garbage disposal… I’ve enjoyed reading your blog…

  4. mopsy says:

    Cute post!
    I’m impressed that he clips his own toenails. My kids think I am running a day spa and I am the chief pedicurist.

  5. Jennifer says:

    oh wow. is this the same son who decided to decorate a rental car w/ rocks ? or maybe i’m getting it mixed up w/ someone else ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. mamabeck says:

    Congratulations, Mrs.Rocks…you have a 200% B-O-Y.
    Oh, my STARS!!!!
    I’m glad I’m not the only one. Really.
    The chocolate syrup on the dog got me, though. I haven’t seen that one yet. Maybe it’s good that we DON’T have pets.
    ๐Ÿ˜€
    b

  7. lisa h. says:

    gotta love little boys! i was reading the mini van story too! ouch! so did you really end up having it fixed? i can’t believe you took it in for estimates – what a very nice person you are. i think i would’ve just returned it and said hey my kids kinda scratched it and hoped they’d say, hey no problem!

  8. Beth says:

    I’m a lurker and new fan of yours…great post!
    Now it’s my 22 year old that makes me grey headed and empty walleted.

  9. elizabeth says:

    So, Shannon, I’m thinking your next web adventure might need to be eBoy? Tee-Hee.
    Have fun!

  10. Rebecca says:

    My son is 3 & already has put things down the ac vent. He also thinks that an empty washer is a better place to store his toys rather than the toy box – not sure why. I can only imagine what’s in store. I’m sure there are overflowing toilets, slow drains & broken disposals in our future.

  11. elizabeth says:

    That brother of mine has a son who would not share his Brio engine with my precious pet. Son of mine removed said train from cousin and flushed it. So many boys crying in the bathroom- 2 fathers and 2 sons!

  12. Eva Dellinger says:

    I have a kid who does similar things. I can’t attribute it to this kid being “all boy”, since the kid in question is my daughter. Her most recent escapade? Drawing on the neighbor’s black car with a rock. (Neighbor = tenant and duplex co-resident)

  13. Christy says:

    Also a mother of three sons, I feel your pain, girl. My favorite at the store is, “Three boys…my you have your hands full.” Full of love, I say ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Susanne says:

    We just fished a penny out of our garburator. Thank God it just took some pliers, screwdriver and major grumbling to get that one out.

  15. momrn2 says:

    Somehow they do that don’t they?!… empty everything except our hearts… which they fill to overflowing!
    Beautiful reminder!

  16. Jeana says:

    When they do those studies about how much kids cost I used to not believe them, but now I think they’re not talking about the cost of food and shelter they’re talking about repairs. They should disclose that boys cost way more. Although if they include the cost of hairspray through the teen years it’s probably about even…

  17. Char says:

    We haven’t had any of these wonderful experiences yet with our almost 5 year old daughter. However it reminds me of the time my parents thought our toilet was broken, went out bought a new toilet because it wasn’t flushing any more…..as soon as my dad pulled up the toilet he found the root of the problem. There had been cars, crayons, and other things stuck in the hole that goes into the pipes in the floor. The joys of children!

  18. Irene says:

    Can’t wait until my boys get to be that age. They’re a little over a year apart so it should be interesting and expensive.

  19. Clemntine says:

    Why do you think that they named it the “Y” chromosome?
    b-o-Y
    And, around here, I often say Y oh Y oh Y!

  20. mom2fur says:

    Take heart…most of our greatest inventors were boys once. If they never asked, “hmmmm…I wonder what would happen if I did this?” we would have electric lights, space stations…and garbage disposals!
    So, see…he’s in good company!

  21. Sincerely Anna says:

    Oh yeah, I’ve got one of these boys too. They are world-changers, that’s what they are. Can’t wait to see how God uses them! And we’ll have plenty of funny stories to offer at the award ceremonies.

  22. Jenny says:

    Hilarious! I am sure he is worth it. My son hasn’t cost us too much yet but I have a feeling his fearless baby sister is going to!

  23. Kathy says:

    You make me laugh daily.
    My similar story: 2 year old boy flushes matchbox car down the toilet. $150ish to the plumber to fetch it out. Good thing those boys are so darn cute, right?

  24. Monica says:

    Ok, let me just wipe my teary eyes so that I can type. I am raising a little “grass smelling head”, too. It amazes me daily how that 4 year old can make me scream and smile all in one moment. Wonderful story about a mommy’s love for her boy.

  25. Jessica says:

    Aw, I hope I can have the same amount of calmness and patience you seem to have and find the humor in those same situations I am sure my 22 month old will soon be doing.

  26. Rebecca says:

    LOL! Isn’t it amazing what little minds can think of? As you said though, they are worth every penny. :o) Great blog you have here, I will return. Love it.

  27. MamaLady says:

    I recently read that Einstein’s mother said he was no smarter than anyone else, he was just more curious.
    Sounds like your boy is pretty curious.

  28. Sarah says:

    Sounds like the road my 2 year old is headed down. Sometimes (like this week) it’s hard to remember the “full heart” part. Thanks for the reminder.

  29. Molly says:

    Oh, wow, does this ever make me thankful that I have 3 GIRLS!!! Hmm, now maybe I’m thinking I should be hoping that this little #4 on the way is another one! An encouraging thought, tho…my mother-in-law says my husband was just like that, now he is a very respectable pastor/missionary who knows a lot about a lot of things!!! Very handy! (The person from the above comment was right!!) ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. Angela says:

    Make the dog run faster??? An upstairs disposal? There are some days I would love to know their thought process. How do they get from point A to point B all in one piece? Too funny. It is so important to remember to live, love and laugh at these quirky things they do so we don’t cringe, scream and cry.

  31. Deb says:

    Shannon,
    I have one of these, too. My four year old son, Evan. Just like yours. He’s the third child (and last, according to my husband) and is just the cutest, sweetest, little thing. Who’s nickname is “Chucky”. Yes, after the murderous doll in the “Child’s Play” movies. Yes, he has red hair, why do you ask?
    I’ve often said that Ev will be the death of me. But I have to spoil him…he’s the youngest, so he’s the one who will put me in the home….

  32. MsRebecca says:

    Incredibly true.. Love this post.. I currently have an entire canister of Morton’s salt on my counter- The 6 yr. old’s response “Sorry mommy, I just couldn’t help my self”
    Gotta love ’em!

  33. KDafoe says:

    Thereโ€™s nothing a boy wonโ€™t do. Wonโ€™t try. Wonโ€™t touch. Hot Wheels down the toilet because the swishing of the water helps clean them. A sisterโ€™s toothbrush helps clean the dogsโ€™ teeth. Shoes and paint just go together. I hear you. Nice post to bring back memories. One word of advice. Never let him see how the blender works.

  34. Steff (http://okierivermama.livejournal.com/) says:

    *oh tears streaming down my cheeks laughing so hard my tummy hurts*
    I havent had any major repairs because of them yet, but we had to replace the beautiful etched glass gun cabinet my husband was so proud of when we got married. How on earth does that happen you ask? Well when said boys use dawn and the icemaker to “mop the floor for you mama” and you have no clue and slip and fall into the gun cabinet shoulder first and BREAK the sidewall of the shelf and the gun cabinet falls over…it must be replaced. We now have a heavy guage steel gun safe bolted to the wall and the floor in our closet. oh the joys of raising boys…and i totally agree with the not outgrowing it. My DH is totally as bad as the kids and he has the height and power tools to do many things they couldnt dream of.
    Steff

  35. Carla says:

    I have a six year old Joseph too. I can sympathize. We’ve done ER visits because of the things that child has put into his mouth. Just last night, we had a serious talk about why it is NOT ok to cut the cats hair. That was after I cleaned all the scratches on his arms and legs. Gotta love ’em.

  36. Chris says:

    I think I may be the only male person who has commented on this blog, I just hope I am not the only one who has read it!
    I have always said that if we had given birth to our son first, rather than our daughter, that he would have been an only child. He destroyed more in his first two years than she did in her first six. Unfortunately, it was all her stuff!
    But, as you said, they are certainly worth it. Thanks for the reminded.

  37. Susan says:

    We have a child just like him. One day, The Man pulled 12, yes…twelve Hot Wheels cars out of the tub drain. This same child got a hold of a box of golf balls and decided that tossing them over the house was a fun idea. He couldn’t figure out what all of the “glass breaking sound was about”. Until The Man discovered all of the glass windows in the backyard shed broken out and the inside of the shed was littered with golf balls. Ahhhh….boys. Gotta love ’em.

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