Because a Proper Southern Woman Can Only Go So Long Without Discussing Her Hair

I am currently reading three different blogs which were written by precious and brave women battling various types of cancer.  All of them have lost their hair via chemo.  And so I feel terribly guilty even discussing hair woes.  I’m writing this anyway, with the great big provision that yes, I know I’m truly blessed to have my health and my hair, and I know that I am vain and selfish.

That does not mitigate the fact that I horrified to tell you I look like a man.

In a moment of a hormonal lunacy, I told my wonderful hair dresser Sarah to CUT IT OFF, CUT IT ALL OFF! a couple of weeks ago. 

(Yes, a couple of weeks.  The trauma has been too acute to discuss before now.)

(And also, I think there’s just a wee bit of a chance Sarah is reading my blog, because I just told her about it recently, and I don’t want to offend the person who holds my hair’s future in her hands.  The truth is, my dear Sarah, the haircut itself is good and you did just just exactly what I told you to do.  I JUST TOLD YOU WRONG.)

Anyhoo, the hair is very, very, VERY short, and no, I will not include a picture because I am still a bit raw.  To give you a general idea, my kids are telling me I look just like Zach and Cody’s mom.  Some people are so very able to pull off Man Hair and still be feminine and cute.  Sadly, I am not one of those people.

Worst of all, in one short month I am going to a fabulous weekend with two of my very favorite blogging friends ever, neither of whom I have ever met, and I just know that I will step off the plane and they will say, "Oh my word, Rocks In My Dryer is actually a man."

So I’m sighing a few sighs when I walk past mirrors these days, having learned my lesson about hormonal haircuts and thankful for a dear Hubs who loves me, Man Hair and all. 

And I was also going to say that I am thankful for my children, except that One Of Them Who Shall Remain Unnamed leaned over to me during church this weekend and whispered ever-so-sweetly, "Mom, the color of your hair kind of reminds me of dying grass."  So at the moment, I am thankful for only three of my children.

The hair trauma abounds.

Posted in: Fun

72 thoughts on “Because a Proper Southern Woman Can Only Go So Long Without Discussing Her Hair

  1. janet says:

    “Oh my word, Rocks In My Dryer is actually a man.”
    AHAHAHA!!! it’s always different when it’s your own hair. I’m sure it’s not that bad but that line above, combined with your story, you.are.a.riot!!!

  2. Ashleigh says:

    You sound like you could quote Anne Shirley: “Every time I look at myself I do penance…”
    But, I’m sure, dear Shannon, that those bloggie friends will see you and just hug your neck, regardless of whether or not there is hair covering it… and they’ll probably tell you that you look cute, too… and they’ll probably be right.

  3. Gego says:

    There is no way you would ever look like a man. Is your current cut allowing you an easier “get ready” time? Are you learning that taking care of 4 kidlets doesn’t allow much time for YOU? If, you think you have a “man-cut”, have I ever told you that I cut my hair to about two inches all over? Talk about a MAN-CUT!
    I am sure that the beauty outside will shine through and the beauty inside will inspire others, no matter how your hair looks. After all, aren’t those the qualities you admire in others?
    I don’t know those courageous women who are walking the path each of us women pray we never have to walk. My prayers are with all women who are suffering from breast cancer. May their journey on the path to recovery be brief and permanent.
    love ya lots, Gego

  4. Andrea says:

    Shannon, I am actually CRYING from laughing so hard – WITH you, my dear friend, not at you. I had one of those haircuts from the kind folks at Fantastic Sams (they too did exactly as asked) when I was in college a little over half a decade ago, the kicker being that I have super curly red hair (bozo, anyone?). I burned the pics. πŸ™‚

  5. Wendylicious says:

    TOO FUNNY!! I kept my hair that short for many, many, many years and just recently let it grow out. I miss the ease I used to have getting ready in the morning!
    I can top any hair story though. While I was a theater major in college, I did a show that required me to dye my hair 50’s bad girl red. It was horrid. Then when the show was over, I was left that way. My Mom gave me money to “get something done with it” but she should have been more specific. The hairdresser talked me into frosting it. I had strawberry and cream swirled hair.
    Come to think of it, that was the first time I cut it super short!

  6. kelli says:

    We’ve seen you. You’re nothing lie a man. And we love all 105 pounds of you (or is it 102 with the short, adorable hair now)?

  7. Heidi says:

    Dying grass??? Hey, it’s better than what I told my mom when I was six. She was plucking gray hairs, and I was watching. She would have been thirty at the time. I said, “Mom, if you pull them all out, you’re going to be bald!” I was only trying to say that pulling gray hairs won’t work as a long-term strategy, but she didn’t take it that way.

  8. JCK says:

    First of all…you are SO freakin’ funny! Thank you for making me laugh today – WITH you, of course.
    O.K.,deep breaths, deep breaths. 2nd of all, Do you have the hair products? VERY essential. There’s a fantastic product called Bed Head Mac Daddy Manipulator…no, I’m not kidding. About the name or the effectiveness – it is WONDERFUL. Usually. Just blow dry your hair, which takes…what 30 seconds now? Then take a small glob of this stuff, rub it in your hands and distribute throughout your hair. Pull hair in multiple directions and 1 of 2 things can occur. 1) You look BETTER than Zach & Cody’s mom or 2)You look like you just came out of a wind tunnel. Hey, either way, you’ll be unique. And that’s why we love reading you, Shannon!
    Oh…not sure what to tell you about the dying grass look.

  9. VerrySherry says:

    If you do look like her, love the look. But I know how it goes–you gotta feel good about yourself! Don’t u worry. It will grow out. I once had a friend everytime she got her hair cut, her husband would comment, “It’ll look great once it grows out!” Um?
    Maybe you feel better talking about it–hope so!

  10. floorplan says:

    well i was going to suggest spiking the crown, as Zack and Cody’s mom does. I think that makes it look feminine. Lipstick, earrings. I can’t imagine anything about you being man-ish. : )
    Funny post! Does it feel good to get it out?

  11. Judy says:

    My mom always use to say the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is two weeks (whenever I would lament a new do – which, sadly, was often). Sounds like you got a good cut but you need a month to get use to it? πŸ™‚ And I just saw your picture in Good Housekeeping and had haircut envy. I still do – with those hip glasses, you’re probably just as darling as the GH piccie.

  12. Elizabeth says:

    Just last week I gave my daughter my haircut appointment. I’d waited so long to schedule it that I was able to get my hair into a teeny, tiny ponytail, and I thought that would be a fun change. EVERYONE (even the lunch lady at my school) has needed to remark on how gray my hair has suddenly become. No one has made any mention that I resemble any movie star in any way.
    For your friends- cancer care hats? I’ve made them for my friends in Lobster Pot cashmere and Blue Sky baby alpaca. Loops has these soft, soft yarns.

  13. Kathy Gillen/ lessons from the laundry says:

    Been there, done that. My hair goes from normal short to man short. When I decide to do the man-short I end up over compensating on the make up. So maybe I look drag, well except for the fact that I’m only 5′ tall.
    In a month it will be normal short. When I go too short I walk around for a week saying:
    “It Grows” everytime I pass a mirror.

  14. Dana says:

    Dying grass? Hmm….I cannot imagine what the color looks like. I am quite sure it looks just fine – you are probably just paranoid!! I am so sorry you are sstressed about it, but it made for a marvelously funny post – ha ha. Sorry!

  15. Megan (FriedOkra) says:

    I’ve been considering such a bold move for myself lately. Needing a change, tired of long, tired of shoulder length, tired of chin length… Now I am seriously reconsidering. Does it make you feel better that in your candor and pain, you may have saved another innocent head of hair from a similar fate?
    Would some cute, feminine headbands work in your new cut? I love a short cut with a headband – so clean, fresh and lovely.

  16. molly says:

    “Dying grass…”
    I can’t stop giggling at that. As the northwoods of Wisconsin bursts into fall foliage, the grass is slowly fading. I am afraid I will be belly laughing as I see it go over the next few weeks.
    “Dying grass…” Ahhh!

  17. chocolatechic says:

    I have man hair. I got my hair cut almost 3 weeks ago. I generally go pretty short……no longer than 3 inches so that I can go longer between hair cuts.
    The hair dresser decided my hair was way to long at 3 inches and when I got up from the chair, my hair was 2 inches long.
    I feel your pain.
    Although, my child who will remain unnamed told me my hair looks like velvet. I think she deserves some chocolate for that.

  18. MamaLee says:

    You’re a MAN, baby!
    I just hormonally cut my hair last week as well, but I just put it up in a ponytail and chopped 3 inches off – not as drastic as you.
    Dying grass. The child needs to be drop kicked into next week!

  19. Antique Mommy says:

    Only Halle Berry can wear off man hair and still make grown men faint. I got a man hair cut when I was in high school. High School. Woe was me. My life is just a series of bad hair dos. I feel your pain.

  20. Striving\Tessa says:

    When I cut my hair, my 5 year old told me a looked like a boy, and my oldest said i looked like Zach a Codys mom. Until I put my make up on and some very preety lipstick I kind of felt the same. I am letting mine grow out to try a new haircut.

  21. Bailey's Leaf says:

    You know, I just had my hair cut off while on vacation. It is the best haircut ever. Why didn’t I get it cut while I was at home? I FIRED my hair lady. And why, you ask? Because I told her how I wanted my hair, took pictures and everything. She decided, four years ago, to cut it how she wanted and I had MAN! hair. So much like man hair that my husband who buzz cuts his own hair had longer hair. (Or, at least I’m convinced of that.) And yes, on the third day, I cried. It was beastly to grow out. Bobbie pins wouldn’t even stay in my hair. It was sad.
    Good luck, girl. Take your vitamins! It’ll make it grow, grow, grow!

  22. GiBee says:

    Hair can do a LOT in one month! It can grow and it can change the way it looks!
    Besides … I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think it is…I say … SPIKE it baby!

  23. BJ says:

    I am one of the fortunate few that can do any style – so says my hairdresser, and I’ve been with her for over seven years. I’ve never been disappointed with anything she’s done. She listens to what I like, and makes it work. The first time I ever had her, I went from middle of the back, to about 1&1/2 inches!!! And I loved it! So did my hubby. I just got a new do – basically cut six inches off, so I’m still shoulder length, and I’m not digging this length so much. So I’m making the big decision….do I let it grow out again, or do I chop??? I have the advantage of having a mass of hair like nobody’s business, and it grows faster than grass – that would be green grass, not dying grass. ha, ha!

  24. Julie says:

    I am sorry, Shannon. Bad hairstyles are the pits but the good thing is, it grows!
    You know what might help? Is really good, really blonde highlights.
    I am sure you look cuter than you think … you are a short hair girl like me.

  25. Jenni says:

    Oh Shannon, I am absolutely confident that you look nothing like a man, short hair or no! I, however, have Glenn Close features and cannot pull off the man hair cut.
    I agree with the other ladies who told you to play with products and spike it up! I’d bet good money that you are cute cute cute!

  26. motomom says:

    Look at this a chance to buy some new makeup or cute earrings. I have “cut it all off” a time or 10 – play up your eyes or find a fabulous lipstick. Get some new products for your hair, pommade and mousse. Start looking for In-between styles you can wear as your hair grows out. Just avoid the mullet at all costs. I found the Flowbee works wonders in this department.

  27. Nancy says:

    The week after our son’s wedding, I got mine cut just that short, only sadly I didn’t have Zach and Cody’s mom’s face to go with it! I did it to get rid of all the color….so now I have longer hair and it is grey and I just look frumpy! 😦 I have never know a woman who was satisfied with her hair! Chin up!

  28. Ericka Wagner says:

    OH MY!! That is TOO funny!!! Can I venture a guess that the nameless child is of the testerone-driven type!!!! That is SO something my boys would say!!!! Dying grass, I”m sorry, but I’m laughing as I type – too funny!!!!
    I cut my hair off back in the spring, thinking that’ll it’ll be great and stylish and cute – like Zac and Cody’s mom.
    Sadly, I’m letting it grow back and now going through the awkward ‘growing out’ phase.

  29. Beth F. says:

    In one month your hair could be absolutely perfect! I used to be one who had VERY short hair and always found my love for it about 4-6 weeks after a haircut.
    If that doesn’t work, we have definitely learned one valuable thing from Britney Spears …. there are a lot of wigs out there.

  30. Molly says:

    Oh, I think we have all made those hormonal hair decisions at one time or another and regretted it! You’ll be surprised how much longer it is in a month! I think that grass comment means less freedom on the bike, eh?! πŸ™‚

  31. New Diva on the Blog says:

    When it is short I want it long, when it is long I want it short. I have come to grips with the fact that it is an eternal struggle never to be won.
    Great comment about the color, someday you will laugh too! πŸ˜‰

  32. Lisa says:

    Did the same thing. It does grow out. Cut mine (hormonally) in pregnancy, baby is 23 months old now and I have my ponytail back.
    I keep a picture of myself available so I remember not to EVER do that again!
    I feel your pain!

  33. Marie says:

    When I was younger I kept my hair very short and it looked very cute and pixie-ish. But if I did that now I’d look heinous, more Liza than Liv. I miss my short hair!

  34. kimi says:

    could be worse. I’m getting married in 2 months TWO months and I went in last week to have my layers trimmed a little. he cut the back of my hair (only one piece before I wrestled the scissors from his death grip) about 3 inches long. he thought the front layer was the length I wanted all of my hair. I can hide most of it but not for the wedding.
    there goes my updo.
    gonna have to kill him.

  35. Jenni says:

    And Shannon, I meant to say that I was ROTFL because after you linked me I got ***788*** hits on my blog! This may be small potatoes to some, but for my blog stat meter it looked quite hilarious. Maybe you had to be there. Annnnyway…what can I do to get linked again? Haw haw! ;o)
    Oh, and I forgot to tell you…when *I* butched my hair, I did it when I was pregnant. Very pregnant. Yeah. Not a good idea. Talk about looking like a pinhead.

  36. mopsy says:

    “Dying grass” is festive this time of year. People pay big bucks for bales of grass and hay to put in their yards for Halloween. What he was really saying was “mom, your hair looks like a Hobby Lobby special.”

  37. Lisa says:

    Oh, the pain of a bad hair day! I went mannish short after my second born child (who was blessed with simian habits – instead of hanging on to my body or clothing, he preferred my hair!). It wasn’t pretty. And I’m at least 5 (or 15) pounds heavier now. And yet, here I am contemplating the man cut one more time.
    I’m going all natural for my color. I’ve been dying my hair and battling the root growth problem for 15 years. I’m done. Right now I have salt and pepper roots about 1-3 inches long in different spots. The rest of the hair is L’Oreal medium brown. Everytime I think about the holidays I debate: Man hair or Hyena (colored) hair. It’s a toss up and I only have 1 1/2 more weeks until my next appointment. I change my mind about every 5 minutes…*sigh*

  38. Liz C says:

    If it was a boy child, he was probably being very romantic, actually–think of all the best things about fall grasses, and that’s the general gist of it. It’s like when my son curled into me at a very small age and said, “Oh, Momma, you smell like BUTTER.” (I liked that one better than when he took my bras outside for “Army huts for my soldier guys.”)
    I’m blessed with a dear friend who happens to be brilliant with hair. This spring, I needed things shaped up some, and called her, and the first words out of her mouth were, “Is this a Hair Emergency?” I asked her to clarify and she said, “Are you likely to do SOMETHING to it in the next 24 to 48 hours, regardless–or are DH or the children at risk of hormonal outbursts? Because I *can* fit you in before Tuesday, but if we can wait until Tuesday, it would work best for me, but I’d rather get to start fresh than try to fix a Hormonal Outburst Issue, or worry about why the children aren’t at church Sunday.” (We waited.)
    So, when the end of summer came and my teaching gigs were finished for the next 18 months or so (when I teach, I need to do an 1840, 1850, or 1860 hairstyle), I went to her and said, “Do SOMETHING with it… shorter is good, and I’m quite incompetant with hair styling, and don’t own a curling iron, and failed Mousse 101 in high school in the late ’80s, when “product” was first invented, and I’d like to look as cute as possible for a vastly pregant fat girl.”
    And, I Love My Short Hair (razor cut, about earlobe length, layered all the way up, and suddenly, my hair has BODY). Hang in there with yours. I’m visualizing some great retro eyeliner, a variety of wild earrings, some awesome head-scarf things (think Audrey Hepburn!), great red lipstick… AWESOME look, definitely NOT mannish. (Strangely, I think I’ve just described me in college… when my hair was about 1″ long all over, and shocking henna red. No wonder I’m optimistic about your new haircut!)

  39. Amy says:

    Dying grass? Oh I’m so sorry – but that is just too funny! I have a good friend with SERIOUS man-hair, like as close as you can get to buzzed without actually just buzzing it. AND she let it go gray (she’s in her early 40’s). It looks cute and feminine on her! I’m so jealous, but I know I would feel mannish so I just gaze at her in awe.

  40. momhuebert says:

    I almost did a hormone hair cut too, but I did research on the internet first, looking for short styles, and my kids happened to see the pictures. They talked some sense into me before I did the dirty deed!
    (Your story reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon story line. Hobbes gives Calvin a hair cut and ends up telling Calvin, “You know what’s the rage this year? Hats.”)

  41. Shalee says:

    Hey, I didn’t know you were coming for a visit! I’d better get the house ready…
    I can’t do Man Hair, either, mainly because Mr. Right’s only comments about my hair and hair cuts is “Just please don’t come home looking like a boy.”
    I can’t imagine you not looking beautiful, Shannon. It’s just not possible! So wear it with pride and let God take care of the rest. (Seriously, it will grow and you’ll look back and laugh some day. Not TODAY, mind you, but someday…)

  42. Heather Cox says:

    Do you know why so many people read your blog? Because you are HILLARIOUS! (And I’m not talking about how you look either!) I’ve never looked like a man, but I have looked like a poodle once.

  43. Melissa says:

    soo funny! i did that once years ago. my DH’s hair was actually longer than mine. NEVER AGAIN! i completely understand how you feel!!! the only good thing is knowing that it will grow back!!

  44. harper says:

    Maybe it’s just that I live in central CA surrounded by nutjobs, but I think your photo is glamorous, and your hair looks gorgeous! Personally, I’m not much of one for short hair (like you, I think that men and women should look different), but in your case the short hair is absolutely beautiful!
    And that’s my two cents.

  45. Erin says:

    I read your site often and really enjoy it! So why is my first comment about your hair??? Because I have been there! As most of us have! But I felt my pain in reading your blog. I think it really looks great but I know that doesn’t matter…you want your hair back. What I did was go quickly to GNC and buy Women’s Hair, Skin, and Nails vitamins. My hair grew fast! I stiil take them just because it makes it soft and pretty too! In the mean time try to enjoy the new cut!

  46. Brit says:

    Your hair post gave me the giggles. Kids are so funny, dying grass. Well, just to tell you your haircut looks great and it surely does NOT look like a man’s haircut. I’m sure it’s a big shock to chop off your hair though. I would be too!

  47. Katie says:

    I love your short hair! I lost my long, never-been-colored, naturally-light-brown-with-blond streaks locks to chemo last year, and when it came back dark and yucky, I started experimenting with color. That is so much fun!
    I love my short hair, love the time it saves me in the morning. Why didn’t I discover this new look before? What a great style for a new mom!
    Your haircut is very chic, not mannish at all!
    Enjoying your blog every day,
    Katie

  48. Shelia says:

    Ooooo, I hate getting a hair cut, only to really detest it and then have to painfully wait for it to grow out to a reasonable length! But I have to say, that from what I saw in that picture, your do is cute, not at all MAN HAIR! And what with the freshly treated fingers and cute shoes purchased to make a box available for one of the kids, you just scream Hot Mama! (The fun comes with trying something new as the do grows out. You could start a “Do-of-the-Month” Club!)

  49. Overwhelmed With Joy! says:

    I let my sister convince me to cut of 12″ of my hair to donate it to locks for love. The cause was worth it, but I hated my short haircut afterwards.
    Several months after that, I made the mistake of going to the salon that my other sister frequents and let them “style” it for me. This meant my hair was even SHORTER than the initial haircut! It was above my ears. I’ve never had hair that short!
    Now, 2 years later, my hair is past my shoulders. It’s not down to my waste like it was on my wedding day, but I’ll get it there again. At least now I consider it pretty again.
    I do not look cute in short haircuts! This I know.
    I hope you hair grows back quickly!

  50. Nicki says:

    Just remember–it’s only hair! It will grow back and if your child has bugged you with the hair color comment–there is always hair color, which can also be changed. Cheer up. It’ll be okay.

  51. Kandy says:

    By no stretch of my imagination would I think you look like a man! I like it…I think its really cute and looks really easy to maintain without having that “easy to maintain” look to it that mine does LOL.
    And dying grass is pretty too…in its own way…of course right? πŸ˜‰

  52. Melanie says:

    OHMY. I just got my hair cut with almost exactly the same style. Seriously. I had a bob and then told her to go short and sassy. Just last week I went back to blonde. Must be some internet vibes on here. :>)
    Yours looks great, BTW!!

  53. AbsolutelyBananas says:

    OH dear there’s nothing worse than hair trauma. But I’m thinking you probably look cute… it’s just the shock of the change that’s got you in a panic. (on the other hand, if Rocks in my Dryer WERE written by a man, it would put an exciting new spin on the title…!)

  54. Amy says:

    Hormonal haircuts- yup, been there- with each post partum mayhem. I have a great pic of me thatI love (maybe the only pic of me that I love)taken 5 days before my son was born, and my hair is brushing my waist (or um,where my waist would have been)and about 3 months later it went to shoulder length. After my daughter was born, it got chopped again. this time I planned to give the 2! 20inch ponytails to locks of love, but can’t seem to part with them. I don’t know why. Now my hair is just above my shoulders and I can’t wait until it’s long enough to get it all in a ponytail again to keep the thickness of it from causing me to sweat like a pig in heat.

  55. Susie aka Mayangel523 says:

    Judging by the picture, you look great with short hair. I have been really, really short and very long in the last 10 years. In the past year I went from hair that was mid-back to brushing my shoulders. Then I got a perm AND highlights. Right after the perm I was called helmet head by my 12 year old. Nice. The highlights were to soften the grey. According to my daughter it didn’t do it enough. The perm has relaxed a little and I still love the highlights, although I noticed a grey hair sneaking in the other day.
    I have used the same hair dresser for 13 years. Anymore I just tell her to surprise me. When I got my perm refreshed a few weeks ago I told her to do the same thing as last time. She couldn’t find where she had written down the information because I never do the same thing twice. We got a similar look anyway πŸ™‚
    My daughter cut 10 inches of hair for Locks of Love. I love the short do, she hates it. But she has my same philosophy. It is hair, it will grow.

  56. Regina says:

    OMG! That is too funny! I remeber my first short (very short) hair cut, my mother wanted to kill me. She said that SHE “worked” hard to give me hair, and how dare I cut it off.
    So Shannon, just remember it is only hair, it’ll grow back! Your cut looks really good, I like it, but in the meantime if you are not satisfied Big or Long earrings and mascara will do the trick! The eye make-up and earrings divert the attention away from your hair. (Short hair and bigger earrings really do look nice together)

  57. Susie says:

    AHHHAHAHA!!!!! I laughed outloud reading this post! I *SO* had a similar “Zac and Cody’s Mom” man-haircut experience–the only difference was that I did NOT ask for it! =oD I dug out the post for you here: http://stillbecoming.us/?p=148 …alas…now my hair is long enough (and no, I have not went back to get another hair cut yet) to put in a pony tail again–I am not sure I will ever fully recover…lol but I am with you that I am thankful for my health AND yes, it is horribly shallow to be so silly about hair…but I was too when it happened so I *completely* understand! You look simply beautiful by the way, so relax =o) God bless! Susie

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