Klutzo Girl Hits the Gym

So, I’ve started working out.

It makes me laugh just to say that sentence.  "Working out" sounds like something Chuck Norris does.  What I do is more like "huff and puff endlessly on cardio machines while trying not to grunt."

It is at this point in the post that I should tell you how rewarding my fitness experience has been, how energized I feel, how worth it is to get hot and sweaty with strangers four times a week.

But I will not tell you that, because I do not like exercise.  I have never liked it, I will never like it, and furthermore, I think that anyone who does like it is just a wee bit sick in the head.

(And if I just stepped on anyone’s toes with my four-year-old Nike crosstrainers by saying that, I apologize, but I don’t take it back.  You’re nuts.)

I’m just not the health club type, really.  I’m sure all those flat-bellied women in sports bras with matching ponytail holder are perfectly lovely, and I wish them all the best (even if I do want to shove a cupcake down their skinny little throats).  But I don’t look like them.  I walk in to my health club each day, a bit on the chubby side, wearing WalMart yoga pants and a faded sorority t-shirt from 1992 (I’m sure the women of Tri Delta are so proud to have me as their representative).

But it doesn’t stop with appearances.  I just seem to do stupid things without even trying.  I always forget where the headphones plug into the treadmill, so I end up turned upside down looking for the tiny connector. 

I usually work out at 9 am, when I can watch Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert’s shows from the night before, and I keep laughing so hard that other people look at me funny. 

Worst of all, I always–always— forget to take off my headphones before walking away from the treadmill, resulting in my head snapping back as the headphone cord keeps me attached to the darn machine. 

There’s just no way to recover from that gracefully.

Though I’ve had several (usually short-lived) seasons of health club membership, I’m finding myself a bit more inspired to get strengthened in the coming weeks.  Dropping a jean size doesn’t motivate me nearly as well as the thought of having to fight off a lion while nursing the other plane crash survivors back to health in the blazing African bush.

A girl has to be STRONG for that.

Posted in: Fun

99 thoughts on “Klutzo Girl Hits the Gym

  1. chickadee says:

    being a lost fan doesn’t bring comforting thoughts of plane rides, does it? we have a trip planned in june which requires a plane ride and i’m reading lost horizons (your recommendation) so i can’t even think about the actual plane ride right now.
    my son asked me if we were going to get to ride in an airplane today and i said yes and he said are you going to drive it mommy? i certainly hope it is someone far more skilled than i am driving our plane.
    keep it up on the workouts. i hear it pays off.

  2. Deborah Li says:

    Let’s just say running on a treadmill going NOWHERE doesn’t make sense to me. But unlike your noble reason for exercising (preventing lions from eating everyone), I just have a totally selfish reason. I wanna wear really nice dresses, darn it! πŸ˜›

  3. Wilm says:

    Oh, I’m so glad I’ve found another person who isn’t a fan of mega exercise! Give me a nice long walk any day of the week, rather than sweating it out in the gym with all of the beauties.
    You go girl – that lion won’t know what hit him/her!
    Cheers, Wilm

  4. Sister Honey Bunch says:

    I’m just getting ready to FINALLY incorporate exercise into my 10 Week Challenge. Not because I’ll enjoy one second of it, but I just need energy for my kid. I’m old.
    Good luck with your new program. Keep updating–it will help inspire me.

  5. Melessa says:

    I wear my old DG shirts for the same working out purpose. I’m sure those young ladies are thrilled too. Especially since I still live in the same town where I went to college.

  6. Multi-tasking Mommy says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who huffs and puffs when working out. I find so many women look so graceful, they breath normally and don’t sweat and I feel so abnormal when my cheeks are bright red, I’m working up a sweat and I have to breathe!

  7. mimi2six says:

    Hey, you’ve got to get your motivation where you can find it. Lion defense sounds like a good one to me!

  8. Happy Momma says:

    I hate to excercise as well, but my neighbor has been holding me hostage in her car lately, so I guess I don’t have much choice. Monday she dragged me to a Pilates class, let’s just say she is one of those flat belly women and I am a recently birthed momma who has no sense of balance. It made for good laughter from her and the teacher!!!
    If you get a chance I would like you to stop by and see what amazing things the Lord has done for our family lately. Just remember God has a plan in everything and if he is calling you to Africa, there is a reason and true maybe the reason is to fight off a lion, or maybe it is to use your blow gun to kill a raging hippo!

  9. The Secret Life of Kat says:

    ” the thought of having to fight off a lion while nursing the other plane crash survivors back to health in the blazing African bush.”
    I can honestly say I’ve never heard anyone list that as their motivation for hitting the gym.
    It’s a good one.

  10. jenny says:

    I feel the same way about exercise and my gym experience is very similar. Actually, I did find a weight lifting to music class that I like called “Body Pump”. It made working out for an hour almost enjoyable! However, in the new year, I’m trying to work on cardio more and start running. I’ve been very uninspired lately.

  11. Edi says:

    I don’t know who those people are that love to exercise – I wish I was one of them. B/c it’s been pretty close to torture for me, for the last 4 years as I get up early in the morning to exercise. “You will learn to like it”…I’ve been told. But it hasn’t happened yet.
    I hated P.E. in school – and I never exercised a day in my life until after my 2nd born was about a yr old. Then I took a look in the fitting room while trying on some clothes – and almost died! That was my impetus.
    You need to find something you can do daily and conveniently – and do it every day unless you are literally too sick to get out of bed. If you start giving yourself excuses – it’ll become easier and easier to skip.
    Once you’ve been doing it a year or two – you can give yourself a break once a week πŸ™‚
    Even die-hard exercise haters can get used to doing exercise…if I was not able to read while exercising…I’d probably never have made it this long.

  12. fullheartandhands mama says:

    I used to love to exercise– before kids. Now, I don’t hate it, but going to the gym sure cuts into other things I feel I should be doing. However, since getting an iPod for Christmas, I must say I look forward to the time so much more.

  13. Katie says:

    You made me laugh so hard. I always drop my water bottle, stumble trying to get off the treadmill to pick up, and then get suddenly jerked by the headphones. Graceful, I am NOT! Keep up the good work. Maybe the headphone jerk will prepare you for running in zig zags from the lions. Or maybe you run in zig zags from crocodiles? Either way, I’m sure your biggest sprint will be to find an outlet to recharge your laptop battery.

  14. Tara says:

    Since nobody has mentioned it yet I’ll give my plug for Curves! I hated pe class. I hated sweating. Really, I was not so much an exercise fan. Until I discovered Curves. You’re there with ONLY women. No men allowed. (When the UPS guy comes in we sort of start to giggle!) You work on each area of your body on a hydrolic machine built for a woman (not the gov of CA, but a real woman). And the best part is? You only do it for 30 minutes 3x/week. I LOVE the toned feeling of my muscles! I LOVE knowing that I’m working away at my “baby pocket” and I LOVE that my husband is at home with the kids for an hour (add in driving there and stretching after and it’s about an hour). I’m not to the point where I can say I LOVE working out yet, but I do like it a lot!

  15. Cindy Beall says:

    I would have liked to have seen the whole not removing your headphones from the treadmill. Just to see if it looked the same as when I did it πŸ™‚

  16. Beth says:

    I, too, am the black sheep of the gym. The first time I stepped up to the eliptical machine with my headphones I did find the little jack successfully but I wasn’t aware that you had to actually start peddling before any sound would come out. So I went from machine to machine wondering why they were ALL BROKEN when finally a very kind (and very trim) woman let me know what was going wrong.
    I felt like a dork.
    I think you are amazing and brave for going to Africa, by the way. I’ve always wanted to go.

  17. Dawn @ Baby Addiction says:

    It’s good to know that I’m not the only person annoyed by the flat-bellied, sports bra wearing, matching pony tail holder chick that is always RUNNING on the treadmill next to me.
    I try to imagine her body ravaged by pregnancy as I huff and puff in embarassment beside her. She just doesn’t realize how hard it is to WALK as fast I as do after only 5 hours of interrupted sleep every night for the past 10 months since Baby was born…

  18. Kara @ theluckywife says:

    I feel the same! As far as the head phones go, normally I end up dropping my iPod and frantically trying to catch it as it sways from my ears…
    And here are a few Chuck Norris work-out jokes, maybe to brighten your mood a bit πŸ™‚ :
    “Chuck Norris does not work out, he simply stares at work out equipment until he builds muscle.”
    “The “S” on Superman’s suit was woven out of chest hair taken from Chuck Norris as he lay unconscious from an intense Total Gym workout session. This is the true source of Superman’s powers.”

  19. linda says:

    I think maybe you should cut back on the “Lost” watching. πŸ™‚
    Seriously, though, from experience, it is better to be in shape when you’re going on an overseas trip. Better stamina, etc… Good luck on the treadmill!

  20. Christy says:

    I love it!!! I was laughing the whole time I was reading this!! I called my kids in to read it to them and they said, “Gee mom, that sounds like you!” I’m with ya 100%!! Seriously though, keep up the hard work!

  21. danana banana says:

    Yeah for you! I’m also just getting started in the whole new world of working out. Tomorrow will be my two-week anniversary of gym membership.
    My gym doesn’t have those cool plug-in type of machines. But I have managed to send my husband’s iPod flying across the room several times while doing my thing on the treadmill. And yeah, it’s pretty hard to stop gracefully on one of those things.
    You can do it!

  22. Grace says:

    Good for you! I am NOT a big exerciser either, although my mom loves it–wrong, I know!!! I actually wrote about my new exercise plan in my WFMW post yesterday… Video games and working out collide…. Scary, but fun!! πŸ™‚

  23. Melanie says:

    All I can say is better you than me. I would rather scrub the commode than step foot in a gym. I took a fitness class in college that was only “Pass/Fail.” All you had to do was show up to pass. I failed.
    You can see that I am quite motivated in my exercise regime.

  24. pam says:

    Ah! Another reason to work out . . . at home.
    I did a little LOL at the whole headphone thing. That would so be me, and I would furtively scan to see if anyone noticed my obvious blunder.
    Keep up the routine, Shannon. I like your motivation. You will be a formidable opponent in the African bush, I’m sure.
    Instead, just use all that extra muscle tone to hug those sweet children you’ll meet, and we’ll all cry as we see the pictures. God will bless your efforts, darlin’.

  25. lomagirl says:

    It sounds like your Africa trip attitude is doing a turn around! Way to go with that attitude, girl!
    The gym- I bought the pants and the shoes, found my membership card, and haven’t made it yet. Maybe tomorrow?
    (ha)

  26. Mary says:

    Loved your comments this morning. I got a fitness center membership for 3 months as part of a class I took at our local hospital. I was sure when I went for my “orientation” that this was going to be the one and only time I would ever set foot there. Once I learned where not to put my fingers and how to sit on these strange contraptions, I got to like it! Of course, it helped that they provided cardiac rehab as part of the hospital services. Sitting or walking next to senior citizens made me feel a little less self-conscious, except maybe when their treadmills were going faster than mine. It’s all relative.
    Did like how my muscles seemed to “ripple” as I walked out of the club after my workout, though.

  27. Lysa TerKeurst says:

    Shannon~ I think you are making progress with your fears. At least now you are saying you’ll make it to Africa and survive the fire ball crash. I mean last week it was a fire ball over the Atlantic.
    Moving on to having to fight off tigers is progress girl! Serious progress!!!

  28. Kai says:

    I’m SO with you on this one. I HATE the gym, hate it, but I also hate it when every single pair of pants I own is too small, so I do what I have to do. LOL
    I swear, next time I head to the gym I’m brining cupcakes….

  29. pippi says:

    Girlfriend, I can sympathize. All I can say is find yourself a pool. Not just any pool, but one with a water aerobics class. These are full of ladies who look worse in a bathing suit than you do who talk and laugh their way through an hour of what should be torture and turns out to be fun. I HATED exercise for almost 50 years til I started going to aquatics. Now it’s the highlight of my week (twice a week faithfully for almost 3 years!)

  30. mandy says:

    OH girl i feel your pain!!!
    the first time i ran on a treadmill (oh about 5 weeks ago) i thought it’d be the death of me…..
    πŸ™‚
    keep it up – you’ll get the hang of it!

  31. zoom says:

    I always feel like I am channeling a Lucy and Ethel segment when I go to the gym.
    The treadmill alone with all of the starts and stops provides too many opportunities to have a great slap stick moment…..

  32. Susanne says:

    I had no idea you could plug into treadmills.
    The talk of lions and nursing the plane crash survivors on the African plains made me laugh as I thought maybe you need to ween off watching “Lost” before you go. LOL.

  33. Melissa says:

    OMG that is so me at the gym. Some people should exercise in the privacy of their own home, and that’s me. Goo dluck with yur nursing skils πŸ˜‰

  34. Daiquiri says:

    You’re hilarious! You had me laughing so hard (because I can definitely relate), that my 2 year old keeps looking at me saying “WHAT, mama? WHAT?!”
    I wish they made a t-shirt that said “Hey, I’d like to see what YOU’D look like after having 4 kids!” That’s what I’d wear to the gym.
    Daiquiri

  35. Queen B says:

    Good for you! I looked into joining another new gym last week and when I got there it had closed!! I’m so into the fitness scene…
    The worst is falling off of the treadmill. While it is moving. Not that I’ve done that 5 times or anything.

  36. MaryLu says:

    My sentiments EXACTLY!!
    I hate to work out, it hurts, I’m sore afterwards, and goodness knows, I’m going to have to fight off any lions any time soon, so why bother.
    (Cheering you on though, I might turn on Richard Simmons later, sit on the couch and munch on some low-fat popcorn.) I’ll be thinking of you.

  37. Danielle says:

    I’m so glad that you are getting in to that – that’s awesome! I’m one of those nuts you speak of, by the way. Although, I much prefer to run outside rather than a gym – it’s given me such a great appreciation for the world around me and makes me stand before God in awe because of his incredible beauty portrayed through nature.
    Good luck on your new fitness routine!

  38. Terry says:

    I talked myself out of hitting the gym again today just because of issues like yours. Maybe tomorrow I will remember this and know there may be others there that feel as stupid as I do. BTW- Your blog has once again provided an invaluable service. One of the comnents above answered why I couldn’t get any sound from the earphones on the stupid broken machine…and the next one…and the next one. Next time I’ll pedal! Thanks for solving my dilema before I asked the perky little girl at the desk and she died laughing at me.

  39. Samantha says:

    Well, I, for one, am happy for you to wear your letters with pride! πŸ™‚ I’m not so handy at the gym either, but I totally admire your blogginess and it’s great to know you’re a sister. I’d squeal, but I tried to leave that behind when I left the sorority house… LOL

  40. Heth says:

    Go Shannon GO! Here’s a tip to make the time on the treadmill go faster and less painful. Podcasts. I love listening to The BigBoo cast while working out.

  41. kimberly says:

    oh, silly! These things happen to everyone. The gym things, that is, not the lions and plane crashes. Everyone. Even the ones in the skimpy outfits (really, can a person work out dressed like that?) Just keep going for it. Good girl!

  42. Britni says:

    I just started working out again too, and I feel your pain. The treadmills are especially scary. I never fail to drop my IPOD while I’m running only to have it go shooting off the back of my treadmill. It seems so easy.

  43. Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck says:

    I once flew backwards off a treadmill that hadn’t QUITE slowed down enough for me to exit gracefully. I went flying off, arms extended to the sides and landed on one foot with the other foot behind me like I was practicing some weird ice skating move. It was awesome. I didn’t even turn off the machine, I just ran into the locker room, grabbed my stuff, and called it a night. Good times.

  44. Jenni says:

    You know, it’s all well and good to think about how fit you need to be in order to nurse other plane crash survivors back to health…
    But hey, Hurley’s done just fine, hasn’t he?
    I hate exercise too.

  45. Devan says:

    I laughed out loud about the head snapping! Almost snorted coffee! Thanks for the chuckle! And I hate exercise, too. With a passion. Seriously.

  46. Rookie Mom 101 says:

    You work it girl! As for the skinny little things, wouldn’t worry to much…they too will come to their senses and realize that Carbs are GOOD for the body!
    As for the Tri-Delta shirts, didn’t we go to college for a degree and the sorority t-shirts! I still sport mine every chance I get even when it is a no make-up, ponytail wearing, holes in the socks kinda day.
    Best of luck with the tigers they have nothing on you πŸ™‚

  47. Ronnica says:

    I’ve always hated working out (and still do), but found that swimming was the exercise for me. I love it, AND it’s a great workout. I never thought there would be a type of exercise I enjoy, but I found it.

  48. Lisa Russell says:

    thanks so much for the cautionary tale, I will avoid going to the gym now. Good thing I read that, I was almost oging to try working out. Whew. Thank you, Rockin’ the Dryer Mom.

  49. dayspring says:

    I HATE THE GYM! I’m a klutz, chubby, and un-cool. But really wanted to shape up. I recently bought Leslie Sansomes “Walk away the pounds” and I love it! It has 5 different workouts on it so I don’t get bored. It is mostly walking and then some weights. There is also and “kickboxing” one. I am completely uncoordinated with no rhythm but even I can do these…without feeling too much like a goober.

  50. Kelly @ Love Well says:

    I applaud your trips to the gym. I hated working out for years — and then I found something that was FUN! That made all the difference for me. If exercise can be fun, I’m all for it.
    So while I hate to discourage a good thing, remember this: While in Africa, you don’t need to be in shape enough to out-run the lion. You only need to outrun the slowest person in your party.
    πŸ˜‰

  51. jubilee says:

    Laughed out loud, my friend. Laughed out loud! (I know that’s usually abbreviated, but your post was so funny that I couldn’t just leave it at LOL!)

  52. Sheila says:

    I DESPISE working out, and have many old gym memberships and barely used tennys to prove it!
    I loved the picture of your head snapping back with the headphones, it totally took me back to My Big Fat Greek Wedding when she does that! :o)

  53. Happy Mommy says:

    Now Now No cupcake shoving…. I also don’t do exercise! I diet or life change or food journal if you will. I do Weight Watchers, I can eat what I want in moderation that I like. After my second son I tipped the scales at 225 pounds, I as many do started WW on Jan 2, 2004, by Oct of 04 I had lost 90 pounds yes 90…. I did the programI worked the program! I did very little in the way of exercise, at the time with 2 little boys I took walks and play dates but thats about it. I gained 50 pounds with baby 3 and did WW losing all of the weight again. I’m sure I will always have to journal my food intake but its better than getting all sweaty on the treadmill…. Maybe you might like WW too.

  54. Jean Stockdale says:

    You are so wise to do some training to get ready for the trip to Africa. I admire your wisdom and dedication. Plus it was a funny post-I love the visual of the treadmill and the headset. Too funny! Blessings.

  55. Cathy says:

    I am so glad you’re working out some! I always tell friends that being in shape is helpful when going on mission trips (I don’t mean washboard abs–just getting your body moving and eating healthy). I, too, HATE exercise but it’s better when the motivating factor is going on an errand for God. He’s better able to use me when I’m physically healthy. Good for you!

  56. Linda@mochawithlinda says:

    I totally agree with you on the exercise. Not only do I hate exercise in and of itself, but I get a migraine when I do it.
    I enjoyed perusing your blog a bit. Your comment on Lysa TerKeurst’s site about the book you are going to write – when you become the woman of the title subject – cracked me up!
    I think we are kindred spirits: I, too am a grammar snob! I go nuts when I read a poorly edited book with incorrect grammar & punctuation, misspelled words, apostrophe’s used for plurals (I did that on purpose for effect and it made me cringe!), incomplete sentences, etc. I found your past blog about books, and I agree with you about Eats, Shoots and Leaves! (It will probably not surprise you at this point to hear that not only was I Copy Editor of my high school newspaper many eons ago, but I received the Lizzie Borden award for my efforts!)
    I want to recommend a couple of books to you: Healing Stones by Nancy Rue & Steven Arteburn – it just came out Jan 1 and is phenomenal. One of those books I couldn’t decide whether to read faster to find out how it resolves or read slower to savor and make it last. Also, have you ever read any of Charles Martin’s books? When Crickets Cry is outstanding, as is The Dead Don’t Dance and its sequel, Maggie.
    I apologize for the long comment. I’d love for you to stop by my blog for a visit sometime!

  57. Nicole@On The Run says:

    One tip I can pass along for the heavy sweaters (I definitely don’t “perspire”) is to wear BLACK and, and I mean, ALL BLACK on the bottom half.
    One go ’round on the elliptical in light blue shorts left me looking like my water had just broken or I suffered from a lackluster bladder.
    Neither of which, I believe, is attractive.

  58. Ewokgirl says:

    Yeah, I’m not much of a workout girl myself. I used to belong to a gym, but I quit because I felt like I wasn’t getting my money’s worth, which was totally my own fault, but $40/month is a lot to just use a treadmill 3-4 times a week.
    My worst experience was having my cats’ vet stand STARK NAKED in front of my locker at the gym. I’m a total prude and don’t do well with naked people walking around anyway, but the fact that I had to see our vet naked AND politely say, “Excuse me,” while trying not to actually look at her was, well, awkward and mildly traumatic.
    And let me tell you, and my cat’s next appointment, all I could think was, “Ugh! I saw you naked!” I didn’t say that, though, because I’m a very polite type.

  59. Ewokgirl says:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention that the one time I tried a yoga class at my gym, I didn’t realized that when you signed your name to a little square, that was YOUR SPOT. I just put my mat down on the floor in an open spot, and few minutes later, some very possessive woman was glaring at me and asking if that was my spot, which was totally meant to imply that it was NOT my spot. So, I had to think hard to remember exactly where I signed my name on that piece of paper that was apparently meant to mimic the configuration of the room so that I could go to THAT SPOT and not make anyone else who was there for inner peace more angry than I already had.

  60. Susannah says:

    I am so with you. I would rather starve myself than don a workout outfit, whatever that means. But don’t worry–I don’t. I am fine with the flubby gut so long as it means I never have to wipe down a stationary bike after a man wearing Spandex dismounts.

  61. Sandy says:

    I get up at 5:15 and meet my 45 year old running partners – and we train! Train for motherhood and LIFE for that day!
    You made me laugh … once again!

  62. BLMOM says:

    Woo Hoo! That was so funny! The gym can be so intimidating for sure. I love that you have to be fit to fight off the lion. I am laughing my sweatpants off. Hang in there. It will get better. And really who loves to work out? Isn’t it that we love the results more than the work out?

  63. Bailey's Leaf says:

    Oh, I do not like exercise either. I’m not the size I used to be when hubs and I got together, or married for that matter. So, he tells me that I should walk “to rid myself of stress.” Or exercise for the same reason. Uck. I know I should but I just hate it! Maybe it would help if there were a Ding Dong on the end of a stick in front of me . . .

  64. LeeAnn says:

    I fell off a treadmill once when I tried to take a drink of water while walking. Instead of drinking, I accidentally splashed myself in my contact-laden eyes and temporarily blinded myself.
    Yet one more less than graceful moment in a lifetime of klutziness…

  65. Christy says:

    I work out at a gym at my husbands company. I strategically go at 9:15, once all the young workers are at work. Then I am there with the other mommy spouses and the retirees. It makes me feel like I am decent shape. My husband just switched jobs and we sadly no longer have that benefit. Now I have to find a new place to wear my Theta shirts from 1991ish as well.

  66. miriam says:

    We could all flood in together and klutz it up. Start a national movement! You are not alone. Pass the cupcakes, and the 10-pound dumbbells, please.

  67. dcrmom says:

    LOL!! Good for you, working out. I agree, I don’t yike it. But it IS good for you.
    And I can relate to the klutzies. Whenever I run on the treadmill and listen to my iPod, at least once during the visit I accidentally hit the cord, which then flings the iPod across the room, resulting in me pausing my treadmill, getting off to retrieve the ding-dang iPod, and then getting back on and trying to start back up without breaking my neck.
    Oh the joys.

  68. TRS says:

    Ha. I picture the woman from My Big Fat Greek Wedding… when she gets up from the desk with her headset on!
    I still don’t love exercise… but let me all you ladies something.
    I didn’t start working out until my 30s because I was naturally thin… then realized in my old age that I’d better maintain. At my first gym I met a lot of great women, one who was significantly overweight. I met her after she was about 1/3 the way into her weight loss.
    She once told me that her friends asked her how she could stand going to the gym with all those skinny bitches!
    Her reply, “Because it feels really REALLY GREAT, when the skinny bitches come up to you and tell you look great!”
    We could all see the weight falling off of her, and we told her so. We noticed the change in her face – when her neck and arms started to change. That’s encouragement!!
    When you look at yourself in the mirror you don’t notice the progress. When someone who only sees you once every week or two notices – Dang… that has to feel good!
    Some of the skinny bitches are nice people!

  69. Amy says:

    I’m so with you on this workout thing they call “fun”-WHATEVER! I thought I’d be ambitious and take on jogging w/ a neighbor of mine who has already been jogging for almost A YEAR. Since we’re going to the beach for Spring Break and all I thought it would do me some good to tone the flab. We’d jog, walk, jog, walk, etc. She kept telling me that eventually I’d be addicted to it? What? Addicted, like caffeine, can’t live without it? Yeah, um, okay, sure. Until a week in to it and my right knee is so far gone, I’m having to go to the dr now because the soreness won’t go away. Addicted? Who has time to become addicted to it? Sorry, gotta run (i mean, go) there’s a pastry waiting to be eaten!

  70. Candace (Mama Mia) says:

    I just joined a gym and started working out, again, too. The gym I went to before I had my 3rd kid (I quit when I found out I was pregnant- there’s no way I’m working out while I’m pregnant) was a fancy schmancy gym with the perfect people. I decided to try a new one and it’s about 75% old people and I LOVE it. I love being one of the younger – fit people there (which since I have about 30 pounds to lose is ironic).

  71. Sarah says:

    Wow, I’m not the only one who wears really cruddy clothes to work out? I usually go to the gym at about 5:30 in the morning and the women there look like they’re straight out of a Mrs. Fitness America competition.

  72. Stephanie says:

    Good luck, sister. I know that it doesn’t really help to say this, but you’ll be glad you did this. Today, I wore a t-shirt from Wimbledon from 1995. I don’t think the other people there were even BORN in 1995.

  73. Nicki says:

    The mental picture I got of you being whipped backwards to the treadmill had me rolling! I would be the same way–that’s why I workout at home (although not currently).

  74. Jill says:

    I hate exercise too and view with major skepticism anyone who actually enjoys it. I love that you work out at 9 and laugh to Stewart and Colbert. I do the EXACT same thing and always feel like any minute they are going to come take away my membership for distracting the others with my loud obnoxious snorting and laughing. I look at it as an extra ab workout.

  75. Emily says:

    Good girl! Proud of you for going to the gym. Trust me, it won’t be long before you start replacing those old tri-delt shirts for more “gymmy” clothes. Trust me, I’ve seen some of the frumpiest ladies walk in the gym, then after a few months of consistent hard work, they are totally different people. Keep up the hard work. It won’t be long until you are helping another lady who trips over the treadmill and can’t find the plug for her headphones.
    If my sister can enjoy exercising, anyone can. You’ll get hooked on the results if you dont get hooked on how much better you feel first!
    Also, if you make a point to tell your kids that you hate exercising, they will too. You don’t want that to happen. Pretend…for their sakes.
    Kudos to a prior comment about Body Pump..It’ll kick you in the you-know-what, but it’ll whip you into shape, FAST. I always do better in classes than on my own. Everyone’s too into what they look like to care about what the new girl is doing. I like RPM/spinning…so easy to go at your own pace or kick it up for a challenge

  76. Julie Stiles Mills says:

    The key for me has been strength training. I’ve only lost 5 pounds, but a whopping 10% body fat! In three months, with a personal trainer, twice a week! One hour sessions. I’ve heard you lose 10% muscle every decade as you age. If so, I’ve regained 10 years! In three months? Also, more muscle means I’m burning more calories at rest. And I like to rest. The right trainer is crucial. This is my second one.

  77. Nicole @ Life in Progress says:

    I want to say 2 things. First, I agree with you that a person who truly LOVES to exercise is someone who is just a little crazy. Second, the image of you getting off the treadmill with your headphones still on had me laughing out loud and picturing My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Mostly it had me laughing because I’ve done it!

  78. Nancy G says:

    In responce to the lady that saw her cats vet naked in the locker room.
    A couple of years ago I was in the women’s locker room at my local YWCA when I heard someone behind me call my name, and when I turned around there was my daughters teacher stark naked from head to toe. she had just gotten out of the shower and felt it more important to come say helo to me than it was to go get dressed. The other funny thing about was that she was holding a towell in her hand the entire five minutes that we were standing there talking, but she never bothered to wrap it around her.

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