Wonder Woman Is Just a Chick In Tights

I think the "momosphere", as the mom-blogging world is sometimes called, is a lovely place.  It’s a fantastic way for women to connect and gain ideas and encouragement.  It’s an especially sweet tool for moms of preschoolers.  That is a precious stage of life, but it’s an isolating one.  As we peek into each other’s homes via our blogs, we get a glimpse of women who are struggling with the same things we are.  We can urge each other on to be better, to try harder, and this is mostly a beautiful thing. 

Mostly.

But I think it can also lead us down the well-traveled road of comparing ourselves to other women.  I’ve walked that road myself.  A lot.  Considering that each woman is facing unique challenges, unique life situations, unique marriages, unique socio-economic issues, etc., comparing yourself to another woman leads only to heartache and frustration. 

We’re not the same.

And the momosphere, for all the good it does, makes it easy to fall into the trap of wondering why we can’t do such-and-such the way so-and-so does it.  We peek into each other’s homes without knowing the whole story.  Despite how it sometimes feels, reading a woman’s blog is NOT an extended look at every detail of her life.  It’s a brief glimpse.  Even those of us who value transparency in our blogging couldn’t possibly share every detail, every struggle, every sin that sometimes knocks it down.  It wouldn’t be practical or wise. 

Take blogging for what it actually is:  a brief glimpse.  Say it again with me: It’s just a brief glimpse.  Know that there are factors at play in that blogger’s life you will probably never now.  Some have husbands with flexible and helpful schedules, others have husbands who are gone for days or weeks on end.  Some women don’t have husbands at all.  Some women have unusually high energy levels, others simply do not (and that’s a biggie–don’t discount it).  Some women have children in school for hours a day, others are educating their kids themselves.  Some have a great deal of financial freedom, while others are struggling. 

And I do not mean to say that it’s acceptable to make excuses for areas where we need to improve.  We should all be seeking excellence in every area of our lives.  But excellence will look different in each woman, based on her own abilities and challenges and calling. 

So if you’re reading a blog–any blog–and you’re feeling you don’t measure up, then pause for a deep breath.  That particular blogger may seem to have the world at her feet, but those feet may be covered in blisters.  Love her, send her your best wishes, and learn what you can from the things she’s doing well.  But know that ultimately you are accountable not to the blogosphere, but to the people you love best, and your God. 

133 thoughts on “Wonder Woman Is Just a Chick In Tights

  1. Sallie @ A Gracious Home says:

    Must be something in the air since I blogged about this same topic a few days ago. I appreciated your pointing out that reading a person’s blog is just a glimpse. As you said, I value transparency and being real on my blog, but I do leave out huge areas of my life. It isn’t wise to share everything with everyone.
    The energy level IS another big factor. I am now over 39 (ahem) and the drop in my energy level over the past ten years has been very noticeable. The average 40 year old mom of a 16 month old cannot keep up with the average 25 year old with a 16 month old. πŸ™‚

  2. karen says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! I do find myself feeling inferior sometimes as I read all these different things. I want to be challenged to improve but I think it’s easy to forget the things you said. So thanks again for the reminder.

  3. Georgia Mom says:

    I’ve struggled with this myself. When I was new to blogging, I often stepped away from reading feeling like I just didn’t measure up. But, over time I’ve come to realize that it’s just what you said a “glimpse” into someones life. And I loved what you said that “blisters on her feet”. Oh so true! If they glanced at my feet, they would see some big old size 11’s looking back up at them. I could fit a whole lot of “world” on them dogs! Good thing, no one in the “momosphere” can see them!

  4. chaotic joy says:

    “We should all be seeking excellence in every area of our lives. But excellence will look different in each woman, based on her own abilities and challenges and calling.”
    Thank you for writing this. It was just what I needed to hear.

  5. Stacey @ Happy Are We says:

    My motto: the only place all women are the same is in the sign on the bathroom door. πŸ™‚

  6. Cathy says:

    My favorite blogs are ones where the author writes only when she has something to say and she seems to be writing for herself and God (and we get to peek in!) A few of my all-time favs don’t even have a “comments” section! (I’m guessing this might be so that they don’t beat themselves up/get a false sense of security based on comments to their posts.)
    I would love to start a blog, but I’m guessing it would bring out the worst in me (e.g “I’ve got to post today!…ouch, I only have 1 comment!”, and mostly — missing my own life to blog about it). For now, I’m grateful to enjoy and be inspired by others who can handle blogging. Thank you!

  7. Donna W says:

    My children are 38 and 40. I just want you to know that the mommy blogs to which I subscribe are those written by ladies who obviously and admittedly are NOT perfect mommies. I can so relate to these, remembering my own difficulties as a young mother. And from such as these, I get my biggest daily laughs, because they know how to laugh at themselves. You, by the way, are one of my regular reads.

  8. Erica says:

    Thank you for this. I was struggling with something this morning; I needed to be reminded that just because Jane Doe can do “____” doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person because I can’t figure out how to manage it.

  9. Jessica says:

    Thank you. I know it is difficult at times not to compare my mom skills to those of other bloggers. However, I have to remember a few things. #1, we have different children. How one person teaches/disciplines/loves their child may work for them, but may not for me. #2, As a blogger I edit myself. I also try to be a bit “transparent;” however, I will edit myself. There are some things that the world does not need to know. I am certain we all do that. Thank you for sharing this. It is very well said!

  10. dcrmom says:

    Shannon, well said. And this SO needs to be said. I’ve been thinking of posting something similar, but now I’ll just link to you. πŸ™‚

  11. Michelle- This One's for the Girls says:

    Shannon, I’ve been enjoying your blog for a long time– especially your transparency. This post and the one over at blogher about abortion were especially good. Thank-you.
    You must be in my subconscious because the other night I dreamed that I was coming to visit you. Melanie was standing next to me as I stood by your front door. The next thing I knew, I was in your living room and my Jane was peeing on your new leather couch. (I think your post about Corrie and furniture store comes to mind often these days as we potty train around here.) πŸ™‚
    Thanks for the daily smiles.

  12. Sister Honey Bunch says:

    FAN-TASTIC! Thank you! I really appreciated this post today. I have been struggling myself with the Mommy Wars (posted about it today, actually) and this was a nice point of view. Did I say thank you yet?

  13. Jenny from Chicago says:

    Okay yesterday I read your post on Blog-her and today I read this one. I think I love you!
    Thanks for a great “perspective check”. And your words are true about Moms we meet everywhere, not just on the Mom-o-sphere.

  14. Janelle says:

    Great post! It’s so true and easy to feel inferior, but then I think of what people might think of my life based on my blog and it’s not a complete picture by ANY means!

  15. Robin says:

    “Eyesight” is a funny thing, isn’t it? What we see…what we THINK we see…and what actually is there to be seen.
    Bloggers share what they want to be seen, and even then, it might not be received with the same sight it was extended.
    Encouraging words here, Shannon, to seek to see the important things, and to keep everything else in perspective.
    πŸ™‚

  16. Maria says:

    This is a lesson I learned a while back. I assumed the women who always looked so put together, WERE put together. I later learned I was wrong, and it was liberating. You cannot hold yourself to any standards but your own.
    You are so well spoken on any subject. (why can’t I be more like Shannon? lol)

  17. Mrs. Troop says:

    Thanks for the reminder. It’s true – I would certainly hope that although I blog to be “real” with others about what life is like here at our crazy house, I also don’t blog about a lot of the ugly hard things that make up life with many children. My perspective is one of blessing, and that’s what I desire to share.
    we ALL have hard things to deal with and I have no way to know what it’s like to walk in their shoes. I like mine just fine.

  18. bee says:

    “But excellence will look different in each woman, based on her own abilities and challenges and calling.”
    Wonderfully said! Thanks!

  19. Anna says:

    I love “That particular blogger may seem to have the world at her feet, but those feet may be covered in blisters.” It’s a great reality checker – we are conditioned to be FAR TOO HARD ON OURSELVES – why do we need to compare ourselves to everyone around us?
    Want a self reinforcement – stop in on one of those “got-it-all-together” moms unannounced and you’ll see how she really lives.

  20. Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity says:

    I’ve been struggling with this for awhile, finding and embracing the momosphere made it a little harder. I even alluded to it in one of my blog posts…
    http://www.desperatelyseekingsanity.com/2007/11/17/how-exactly-is-it-supposed-to-be
    While I am VERY real on my blog, there are certain things that I don’t share because it would bring others into it, or I’ve deemed it inappropriate.
    Sometimes, I wonder what people on the other side of my blog think of me… whether it be good or bad but then I have to remind myself that it’s none of my business what other people think of me…
    Great post.

  21. Marni says:

    I’ve been married for 17 years, my oldest child 16, and STILL struggle with comparison. I’ve advised others exactly as you have, over and over. And I still do it myself. I can work myself into depression for a day or two, easily, until something rouses me out of my illogical thinking.

  22. momrn2 says:

    This was WONDERFUL! How easy it is to forget sometimes in the middle of reading that it is just a piece. There is so much more to the puzzle!
    Thanks for such a well spoken post and a fabulous reminder!

  23. andrea says:

    I’m just delurking (after listening to your podcast yesterday) to say I love your blog! This post really hit home for me. Thanks for this and for all your posts!

  24. Someone Being Me says:

    Excellent point. I do find myself getting jealous of other bloggers who appear to have a more exciting life, nicer house, or a more understanding husband. I forget that they have struggles too just like me. The header is always brighter on the otherside of the blogosphere.

  25. Jenni says:

    Oh wow, Shannon. What a great post!! I don’t think it would be possible for me to agree more heartily.
    Just today I was thanked for my “weirdness and transparency,” and I got so tickled at that! I’ve learned to appreciate my weirdness (most of the time) although it’s taken me a lot of conversations with myself to get there…and they’ve usually sounded remarkably similar to your thoughts here!

  26. Alesha says:

    Oh, thank you so much for this post. We women need to hear this message so often, I think.
    Our human nature tells us that the grass is so much greener, sweeter and more neatly mowed in the other bloggy-mommy’s yard!
    This post was such a gentle reminder to us that we are each uniquely loved by our Maker. He does not want us to be replicas of each other, but rather image-bearers of Him.
    Alesha

  27. A Whole Lot of Nothing says:

    I have no idea how you knew what was going on in my head, but the last few days I’ve been feeling a bit inferior to other bloggers. I’ve tried to talk myself out of it, but now reading this and “Blog Guilt Free,” you’ve really helped.
    THANK YOU!!!

  28. Sharon says:

    Thank you! Some of my thoughts, exactly, but you, as always, know the words to write them down. Thanks for the reminder. We all need it.

  29. Lisa T. says:

    Thank you for the insight. Sometimes I read womens blogs and think “wouldn’t that be nice” or “what a life”. Everyone has their own set of issues. I think I’ll keep mine πŸ™‚

  30. ukrainiac says:

    So well written. I remember someone telling me once that we usually tend to compare someone else’s STRENGTH with our own WEAKNESS (truly an unfair comparison!). I love that “excellence will look different in each woman.” I still find myself comparing my ministry with another’s, my wardrobe (or lack of!), and on and on. Great post to just let me be me!

  31. michelle says:

    Very well said. I found myself struggling with that same issue, comparing! I had to step back, seek God and make some changes. You’re right it is a glimpse and not the whole story. I had a cool experience when Barb at A Chelsea Morning opened her blog up for a question and answer session. I’ve been reading Barbs blog for a few years now and had a preconceived idea of what her life was and had been like, when she began to answer questions I was reminded once again that this is indeed a brief glimpse into the lives of bloggers.
    Thanks for addressing this subject with such grace and truth.

  32. Melissa Rappleye says:

    good to point out that just cause you are a mom you don’t have to be SUPER mom, but just trying hard and loving your kids is amazing. personal I think if any of your kids make it past 3…that makes you a SUPER mom! πŸ™‚

  33. Barb @ A Chelsea Morning says:

    This is exactly why I opened myself to questions and promised to give honest answers. I sensed that people had a preconcieved idea about me, based on my blog personna, but you know, it’s difficult to step back and see yourself as people out here see you. I think answering some of the difficult questions I got, honestly, put a lot of the myths about me to rest. I sure hope so, because I can assure you, I’ve had so many blisters on my own feet, I’ve got permanent scars.

  34. Jenn in AZ says:

    True? Yes, of course, true! (To borrow from Fiddler on the Roof.) I appreciate your post today. I have read many blogs in the past few years and enjoyed them tremendously. I do wonder how they get it all done and I am still on the second entry on my checklist! I have only begun my blog…only four posts so far…and I have already questioned whether my posts are worth it for others. Silly, but I read some really inspiring blogs and some that lay life right out there…their ups & downs of homeschooling/family/etc. and mine is just to make people laugh at my take on life and how life takes me. It isn’t earthshattering or expounding upon God’s goodness or even instructing you on how to keep a cleaner home, but I realize it doesn’t have to be. God created laughter and even if my posts are lighthearted, maybe they can help lift someone up when they need it. I cannot compare or I would be doing many things mediocre, because I wouldn’t have time or energy to do a few things well.
    Oh my, I have left a BOOK in your comments! I hope you don’t mind. Your post just struck a chord–and not just with blogging, but with life.
    Thanks,
    Jenn
    http://azhometeachin.wordpress.com

  35. jenni says:

    Thank you, Shannon. Although…this post may have been more timely a few weeks ago, as I was about to cast myself off a bridge for not filing my poptarts…kidding, only kidding. πŸ˜‰
    I DO so appreciate your candor and honesty, as well as your encouragement.

  36. Tricia says:

    In the blogisphere as in life in general, we have a tendency to compare our weaknesses to others’ strengths.
    When we do this we will ALWAYS come up short.
    Good reminder.

  37. Meredith from Merchant Ships says:

    Great reminder, both for bloggers and readers alike.
    I tend to post more of my successful projects than my failures, simply because I don’t like dwelling on the negative.
    I’d hate to think that someone would think that my blog is anything but a glimpse.
    However, it’s great to have the support and compliments from other moms. Who else understands that little ones and busy husbands sometimes don’t even notice my effort, let alone stop to compliment me for it?

  38. Chappyswife says:

    I’ve often wondered if anyone else struggled with this issue as I do. This is what I love about blogging. Posts like this one let me know that I am not alone, no matter how big or small the struggle.

  39. Cindy says:

    My DH and I were discussing this last week: we get the impression that everyone thinks we are super heroes for what we get done, but they don’t know how much we struggle…our lives are not easy, but we are joyful and have much to be thankful for.

  40. Marianne Thomas says:

    Can I get a big AMEN!
    I think the one thing that ultimately holds women back as individuals and as a group is our inborn need/desire/drive to compare ourselves to other women.
    Then, add mommyhood to being a woman and… well, we’ve all been in the room somewhere, sometime with BraggingMama.
    You know who I mean.
    She’s the mom who looks like a million bucks (although I was up three times with the baby, she’ll whisper loudly), who has nothing but glowing things to say about her family and marriage and children. She’ll detail just how she organized all her kitchen cabinets — a 2 am! — and yank her latest self-made scrapbook of said perfect children out to glow and gloat over their near-divine status.
    And you, and I, and every other over tired mom in the room with hair that needs a little shampoo and blowdry love, and maybe a pair of jeans sans sticky oj stains, will stack ourselves against Bragging Mama and wonder…
    WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
    BUT– just like Shannon said about blogging, remember that life is not always what it seems!
    You can never really know what goes on behind the closed doors of someone’s home, or of someone’s heart and soul.
    My hope for my daughter as I raise her in this new uber-girl competitive world is to teach her that life isn’t about what’s perfect.
    Life is about what’s REAL.
    And, as I oft remind my little monkeys, the only perfect person is our house is Jesus. We can let Him carry the load for the rest of us!
    Good post, and hey, read your post on BlogHer yesterday. Very brave of you to step out on that shaky limb. I’m with you all the way.
    Smiles to all you real mommyfolk!

  41. Headless Mom says:

    Great post, especially for those of us new to the momosphere. I wonder, though, what happened for you to write such a post? I hope the gremlins aren’t getting to you!

  42. Shalee says:

    Amen and amen. Let’s celebrate our individualities.
    This is the exact reason I choose to not be envious of you, Shannon. You may be one of the biggest, greatest, smartest bloggers on the net, but I’ve heard some of your struggles as a wife/mom, I’ve seen you in a bathing suit, I’ve witnessed your enjoyment of an ice cream, and I’ve heard your musical productions while you sleep. I know you’re just a great woman who has many flaws like me, which in my mind makes you all the more likable.

  43. MemeGRL says:

    Shannon, you rock. You really do. I recently met a blogger (NOT YOU, obviously! lol) I love online who left me cold in person. It took a while to remember that we are not our blogs. And even if I don’t like her, that doesn’t mean I can’t adore her blog.
    But I never thought of it in reverse: maybe some of the moms who are so inspirational on a good day and feed my insecurities on bad ones aren’t sharing the stuff that would remind me that they, too, are just folks making the best decisions they know how, day by day, as opposed to the paragons of mommy goodness I make them out to be in my mind.
    And in the end, I edit myself on my blog that way too, figuring, who really wants to hear me whine about my first-world problems? (Oh, the Volvo uses SO much gas…) But that paints an unrealistic view of my world too.
    Love how you make me think and remind me to keep my heart open.
    If I don’t get the chance to post again before you go, peace and blessings to you on your African journey!

  44. Darlene says:

    This was a really good post and I so appreciate it. I am fairly new to blogging and I have been checking out Blogging Basics 101. Thanks for all of the great info.

  45. Karen says:

    This post comes at a great time. I attended a mom’s group for the first time this morning. When I went to pick up my girls I couldn’t find her bags, then her shoes, then her coat. Here I was wondering around this new place looking for my daughter’s coat! most of the mom’s had already left with their 4 children by the time I could get one dressed! ” I’m such a looser mom” I thought, ” They are all looking at my scattered fragmented self thinking, ‘she’s a ministry'”.

  46. Big Mama says:

    I couldn’t have said it better. Really, I couldn’t have said it better. Great post and so true. It’s all about the glimpses, not the whole picture.

  47. Alana says:

    Well said. My husband reminded me the other day I am writing my blog for myself and if someone else enjoys reading it it’s a bonus! Thank you.

  48. Char says:

    Excellent – thank you for writing this. I’ve been a blog reader and an occasional blog writer for several years. Even though I love to write, I often find blog-writing intimidating. I appreciated your words today so very much.

  49. Daiquiri says:

    Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! This post came at a great time for me. I’ve been spending far too much time comparing myself to all those super-moms out there and feeling downright boring, ordinary, and dull. Why do we always do this to ourselves? Don’t answer that…I might think you’re much more intelligent than I am πŸ˜‰
    -Daiquiri

  50. Jill says:

    no worries. When I read other’s blogs I actually find myself far superior in the areas of marriage and family rearing (please note my voice is dripping with sarcasm).

  51. Susana says:

    Thank you for saying this out loud. I removed a bunch of blogs from my bookmarks because I was doing too many comparing. Celebrating them for their creativity, silent bashing myself for not doing enough. Ahhh, thank you again for this breath of fresh air!

  52. Nicole@OnTheRun says:

    If for a second, I feel like I am the only one who needs to remember this…I am falling in to the very trap you described!
    Any blog that truly revealed ALL the complexities of the blogger would be more of a horror show, so I’m thankful for these nice little “slices” that remind me of what I love–pie.

  53. Amy says:

    And what more is there to say? We have to realize we are all made unique and have different strengths and weaknesses. But we are mighty in God’s power!!

  54. Elaine says:

    What a great perspective. I tend to compare myself to others on occasion but NOT really out here in the blogosphere, more with my long-time friends. It’s like I have this idea that all of us moms out here in the blog world are in the same boat. I know everyone’s story is different but like you said we are all facing the same things on a daily basis no matter what! Thank God for our bloggy friends and the good Lord to help us through it all!

  55. April says:

    Very true the same goes with watching TV we look at all the things that TV characters have and then we want them and wonder why we cant get them. Stuff we never would have wanted needed or desired if we hadn’t seen them on TV.

  56. Jenn says:

    I love this…we all need this reminder every once in a while. It is so easy to compare ourselves every day rather than just appreciating the differences and strengths in everyone else! Thanks for sharing!

  57. Mary B says:

    Thank you so much for writing this. I feel like I get glimpses into other peoples lives and mine doesn’t always look so great. Other times I feel like I am inspired to be a better person because of what I read. Either way, I always feel like I need to keep it in perspective.

  58. GiBee says:

    Has anyone found a drink that spikes the level of energy? ‘Cause as a 40-yr-old-mom-of-a-two-year-old-spit-fire… I sure could use some!!
    I’ve noticed that when I fall into comparing myself with others, it can get downright depressing!
    I must say… I love my family and life. I DON’T, however, love my metabolism!!!
    Thanks for this reminder!

  59. Reynie says:

    Thanks for the great post. I don’t have children yet but my husband and I plan to start trying this summer for our first. As I read through all the mom-blog-world I sometimes find myself thinking, “I will never be able to have a child and actually live to tell about it.” How do all the moms do it and make it look so easy? It’s scary! But then, later I will read a mom-blog who is saying something that seems real to me and I will be less threatened by my new endeaver to become a mom.

  60. Teah says:

    “Excellence will look different for each woman.”
    Amen! However…is it possible that I could be my own excellence…and still have PW’s kitchen (on its spotless days, if you don’t mind!)

  61. Neicy says:

    So very true! I think most women have dealt with this is one for or the other whether we want to admit it or not!! Great reminder!!!
    God Bless!!!

  62. Beth/Mom2TwoVikings says:

    *clap, clap, clap* Brava, my dear, brava! I’ve been on both ends – feeling like a failure, wondering what the heck’s wrong with me as well as astonished when someone asks how I get “it all” done? LOL By the skin of my teeth most days!
    Thanks for the perspective and the reminder!

  63. Amanda Mayer says:

    Ditto. Bravo. When we move too far away from loving family who don’t judge our honesty and (in an effort to keep sanity) we replace them with blogging our tidbits… it’s easy for our successes to come off as a judgement the reader, our honest struggles to be taken as grumbling and complaining, and our admitted failures to be subjected to judgement. Black and white can be brutal to someone’s soul. I envy no author, yet at times feel complelled (like us all who blog)to just share life with someone who’s in the same boat. Thanks for the well put, bloggy advice Shannon. Always love coming here.

  64. christine says:

    That’s why I purposefully post pictures and videos of my disgustingly dirty house on occasion. I read recently of a blogger who photoshops out the mess in the background when she has taken a pic. I was so glad that she admitted it, because even I had wondered how things could be so cute and picked up … ALL THE TIME!
    Note the video I posted for Wednesday (tomorrow – I know, I know – it’s not Wednesday yet!!). There’s one point where I scan over to our bedroom dresser. It’s bad. It’s REALLY BAD! But you know what? That’s totally typical for me. Let those who clean obsessively be grossed out. May the rest of you be blessed! πŸ™‚

  65. Rechelle says:

    Shannon – I have been thinking about this post all day and all I can say is – I really really want to know who you are talking about. Ha ha ha. It’s not me is it? har har har. Cause I could post more pictures of my dirty house and my belligerent kids if it would make you feel bettah. Just kidding. I know it’s not me…is it? Is it? Okay back to scrubbing the grout around my one inch hex tile.

  66. warillever says:

    Here’s any irony — this post makes me so jealous. No, not because your house is more organized or your kids are better behaved, but because I wish that I could write as well as you do.
    I compare my blog to the “biggies,” and find myself lacking. Then, of course, I remember that this isn’t a contest. But it sure would be nice to express myself more eloquently πŸ™‚

  67. Lightening says:

    Fantastic post and very well said. A great reminder for us all. I try VERY hard to be transparent on my blog but it’s true that people still only see a small glimpse of who I am and what is happening in my home.
    I’m a new reader to your blog (just subscribed during your bloggy giveaway carnvial). πŸ™‚

  68. Nikki says:

    As I have started to read more and more mommy blogs you described perfectly how I have been been feeling. Thank you for this post. I needed it so much.

  69. Chris says:

    Ok I have been hiding under a rock for several years. I was so ‘into’ the Mommy internet world for awhile, and I’ve been so OUT of it since. Until this last weekend. I don’t even know how, but I happened upon the Mommy blog world. Previously my dealings with blogs consisted of a certain site I frequented throwing one on the front page about 3 years ago and me getting REALLY upset by that. Seriously, I was ticked. I had NO interest in blogs if that one was any indication of them. (Of course I knew nothing about the MOMMY blog world…haha).
    Anyhow. I’m more than hooked. Your blog and about 3 others have *really* helped me in so, so many ways already. I have actually sampled many in the last few days but there are only a few I’ve bookmarked. Yours is one.
    I started my own a couple of days ago, and then yesterday and last night (really bad last night) *almost* decided to forget the whole thing, because I had fallen into the comparison trap. I was balling like a baby because I just knew it was hopeless. I could never be like _____, or do even half as good a job at _____ as _____.
    Thank you so much for this post. You are SO right. Also? I’m over it (for now). You’re so right, after all. So, my blog will remain. At least until it doesn’t. =)

  70. diXymiss says:

    “So if you’re reading a blog–any blog–and you’re feeling you don’t measure up, then pause for a deep breath.”
    Pause…(inhale…eXhale)
    ThanX

  71. Gretchen says:

    Okay, between yesterday’s topic at BlogHer and today, I think I might just have to send you a big juicy kiss. Seriously. Thanks for the reminder. We all know it, but we need to KNOW it. Know what I mean?

  72. Praise and Coffee says:

    Excellent! I love this about you!
    My blogs focus has been to encourage others in the Lord and I could tell by some of the comments that they actually thought I might have it all together. So I’ve started adding a little more about my life and it is so far from all put together! (I think I may be losing readers now!) πŸ˜‰
    But I would hate for someone to leave feeling discouraged when my heart is to encourage.
    Thanks for the post, you are the real deal!
    Sue

  73. Liz says:

    And this is why I lurv your blog – you make it plain, keep it real, but I know that there are boundaries you have to keep for your family’s sanity.

  74. Daisy says:

    Well said. I’ve been feeling inadequate because no matter how much I do, I won’t look good in the Wonder Woman tights. Now I’m reminded; it doesn’t matter. I’m not alone.

  75. deb says:

    Very well put. I do love the mommy bloggers who show their underbelly. I do it frequently and have been rewarded with some laughs and some simpathy.
    Deb

  76. To Think is to Create says:

    I couldn’t disagree more.
    Just kidding! I just read all the dittos and felt compelled to be a goof. πŸ˜‰
    I do think this whole idea goes along with the fact that God gives each of us our own spiritual gifts, and if we don’t have the gifts someone else has, it’s not something to be sad about. It’s just the way God made us. I think it’s pretty clear God gave you (among other things, I’m sure) the gift of wisdom–it’s easy to see that, even just from this little “glimpse”.

  77. Francie says:

    Oh, thank you, Donna! I love hearing from women with kids who are grown and admit that the early years are fun BUT exhausting. Mine are in elementary school and while I miss those baby cuddles, I enjoy this stage much more because I can stay awake through it.
    I know moms are well-meaning when they say “Oh, enjoy every second! Isn’t it incredible?” because I felt guilty for that few seconds of pity where I missed sleep and personal time and patience. The only thing that was harder to hear was “Oh, you just WAIT! You think parenting is hard NOW!!” I worry enough as it is without someone predicting the end of the world when my child turns 13. Puberty may be tough but please don’t scare me so you can have a laugh.
    Those women who said, “You’re doing great and it will get easier,” got a hug from me. That alone gave me patience on especially hard days.
    Whew. I feel better now. And BTW, my kids are my world.

  78. Sally says:

    Thank you for this! I have wanted to start a blog for a while…..finally got brave enough to pick a name & a host….& now, NOTHING. I’m too scared to post to it & actually launch it because I’m afraid it won’t measure up to the other blogs I’ve been reading. (Like yours! And 20 others I’ve bookmarked & read daily.) And my learning curve is steeeeep. I’m a bit (!) techophobic. And perfectionist. And a lot narcissistic & shy.
    You reminded me that each of us has her own talents, fears, strengths & quirks. And each can have her own place in the world, not just as a mirror of somebody else, but as Herself.

  79. Holly Smith says:

    Praying for you and Sophie as you travel! ‘Can’t wait to hear all about it!
    What a good word today–it’s not a personal struggle for me, but I enjoyed reading your perspective, Shannon. I like being me, and so I love to see those glimpses of life of others and perhaps even be given a blessing or to give one.

  80. Jenn says:

    Thanks for the insightful post. I’m new to the blogosphere and this really helps to add context and insight (and take away a few tinges of inferiority).
    Thanks for sharing your brief glimpses, I’m looking forward to reading more of them.

  81. Anna says:

    Thank You! Ever since becoming a mom I have been shocked at how much comparing and competition there is…It took me quite a while to get past comparing myself and my child and just figure out what works for us! This is such a well worded post!

  82. Debbie says:

    I wrote a blog about this is regards to TV and magazines. It is so important that we realize if we even know the person that well. People show you what they want you to see. Also comparison is not a gift from God. It’s used to seperate and divide.
    Terrific POST!
    Debbie aka The Real World Martha(S)

  83. dlyn says:

    So true – and in all areas of life really, not just blogs. You can see a little more of the people you encounter in person from day to day, but many times, you only see what they want to show. People have burdens and blessings we cannot begin to fathom.

  84. CC says:

    Wait a minute… as my secret identity I’m “Super Woman”… does this mean I’m just roaming around with tights and a cape on? LOL! Just kidding. Great post.

  85. Marit says:

    I love this post of yours and was wondering if I can use a bit of it on my own blog? I’ll add quotation marks and add a link to your blog as well, so people can be sure that these words of wisdom are not mine!
    Have a great time in Uganda. I grew up in Ethiopia, Uganda, Kenya and the States (am dutch originally)and I miss those places regularly.

  86. Laura says:

    Hi,
    I came across this from a link on another blog, and have to say that this article rocks! I am so guilty of comparing myself to other moms, both online and moms I know personally. This article really hit home for me.

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