Would You Rather?

I’ve been the mother of at least one son for over ten years.  You’d think I would know by now.  But last week I lapsed, just for a moment.

The boys told me about a game they’d invented, and they named it “Would You Rather”.  The idea, they explained, was to name two things and give the other players a chance to choose which one they’d rather do.

In a clearly delusional moment, I though to myself how delightfully creative my children were.  What a clever little game!  Let’s see…Paris or France?  Beethoven or Bach?  Tell me, darling offspring, what delightful choices dost thou have for me?

Okay, mom…would you rather lick a baboon’s backside or climb a volcano that’s blowing molten snot?”

It was a nice fantasy, while it lasted.

And seriously, he should at least get creativity points for “molten snot”, don’t you think?

This post was originally published on September 10, 2007.

60 thoughts on “Would You Rather?

  1. Jen says:

    There’s a “Would You Rather?” book that Scholastic puts out, I think. It’s pretty gross, but it got me through many long days of subbing last year, especially with the third graders, lol.
    My daughter gets mad b/c I won’t answer some of the questions.

  2. JanMary, N Ireland says:

    Ok – I am back. Asked my daughter – and fortunately, no, she would not choose those options! They play that game at her school too. I asked which question she would ask. She replied “Where would you rather visit – France or America?” and she chose America.
    ‘Atta girl 🙂
    However my 3 year old son – I am sure he will be doing the snot questions when he grows older.

  3. Jenn says:

    Absolutely, bonus points for that! I have three boys with the oldest being 6. We have just entered the land of true boy…where bodily noises are funny and the crazier the words used are hilarious.

  4. threeundertwo says:

    I raised my boy and girl twins the same way in the same house but honestly, that “boy-ness” is just wired into them.
    My son totally would have gone with molten snot. And he would have drawn a picture of it.

  5. Lori Anne says:

    That is too funny! Our church youth group has often played this game and for the most part tries to use fun, but thinking choices. However, left to their own devices kids can come up with some real winners, can’t they. 🙂 Thanks for starting our day with a laugh!

  6. Anissa says:

    My son has done this before — but can’t remember what they were. Now my 2 year old can’t wait to see what it comes up with. He loves to walk around the house and burp. Now at 2 come on he thinks it is so funny he can make hisself do it and he just laughs and laughs. I tell him say excuse me and what does he do burps again.

  7. Shara says:

    Too funny! Have they ever played the game about going to Mars, and you can only take certain things with you? (I’ll just totally spoil it and tell you the trick is that you can take things that contain double letters in the name, like a toothbrush, bubbles, skittles, but not a comb or gum, etc. You’re supposed to play with people that don’t know the trick.) After playing with my son, you would be amazed at the wild things that have double letters!!
    We miss you, Shannon, and hope you’re having a wonderful time with the kids.
    Have a great weekend!

  8. Cathy says:

    Love this. We play Would you Rather in the car all the time.
    The best one my oldest came up with is this: Would you rather die between two slowly closing spiked walls or underneath a really really fat person?
    Seriously. I cannot answer that.
    Thanks for the laugh this morning. And give your son a high five for me. That’s a classic.

  9. Shannon says:

    Come now, you bring this post back and still don’t give us your answer?? ;o)
    I’m going with the baboon. Reasoning? I can have mouthwash at the ready. I’d hate to get 3rd degree burns from molten snot.
    Your boys could give Fear Factor some new ideas.

  10. KimC says:

    My sisters used to play a similarly horrifying game by the same name.
    Their question went like this:
    Who would you rather have see you falling down the stairs naked? Then the Asker names two people, often disgusting specimens of humanity like David Bowie or one of Jack Black’s less likeable characters.
    A fun variation: Who would you rather see falling down the stairs naked?
    We don’t allow them to play for obvious reasons…

  11. A&EMom says:

    I think he gets points for the baboon’s backside, too. Because, honestly, it would have never occurred to me that licking one is a choice I can make.

  12. Kelly says:

    I would rather rather lick a baboon’s backside. Climbing a volcano that’s blowing molten snot could be dangerous. I guess licking a baboon’s backside could be also.

  13. AmyG says:

    LOL… My 7 yr old daughter comes up with crazy stuff, too! Like, “would you like to eat peanut butter with gum on it?” “Or how about a banana sandwich with fish?” Gross!

  14. Erica says:

    Those are so fun. My hubby and I play them on car trips, and I recently bought two books, “Would You Rather” and “More Would You Rather,” from a Christian bookstore to use when I have a few minutes left in my class with squirrely middle schoolers. They love ’em! And of course the gross ones are always the best.

  15. Lynn says:

    There actually is a game for adults called Would you rather, it’s pretty much the same thing. I played it with my family this weekend and it’s soooooooo funny! In order to win the game I ended up with a pickle pressed between my lips and nose while the other players took a turn. It was really fun and we laughed for the entire hour we played.

  16. Tater Mama says:

    I’ve been reading for a while and have never left a note, but this one tickled me so! As a former teacher of 1st and 3rd graders, I probably would’ve recommended your boys for the gifted program on their creativity alone! What a hoot!
    Enjoy your break and the rest of the summer with your family.
    (Molten snot….I’m still giggling!)

  17. Kristin says:

    Ahhh, sounds just like my boys at the dinner table! “Would you rather eat the poopy from a lion after it ate a monkey or would you rather eat the squished up eyeball of a tiger?” where do they come up with this?!!

  18. Lori says:

    I raised 3 boys, now 27, and twins at 25. Did you also know that if you stick a bicyle pump needle in a pumpkin and pump, it would blow up? Have fun – Boys are great!

  19. CousinJ says:

    Hilarious! My dear husband is already teaching Ethan this fun little game so I’m sure I’ll get to enjoy hearing about similar scenarios:).

  20. Diane says:

    I have seen this game played many times on Zoey 101. Also I noticed now they have it as an application on facebook.
    It is getting very popular but they are usually weird ones like your boys asked.

  21. Mo says:

    My favorite is “Would you rather live in a world where massive afros are required for all members of congress, or where all political disputes are resolved by means of break-dance contests?”
    I was a youth ministry major, those books are a staple 🙂 (especially the gross ones)

  22. mom2my9 says:

    My boys always play the “how would you rather die” game. It is truly grotesque to listen to some of the things they come up with….and intriguing!

  23. Rebekah says:

    Yep, I’ve heard of that game before. Saw the molten snot coming when you described the game, lol. Thank you for reminding me to prepare for what is coming with my two boys.
    Btw, I laughed so hard at this I read it to my DH, who also cracked up.

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