I’ve made it through four children and ten years of motherhood without anyone getting a cavity.
Until yesterday.
At the kids’ check-up, the dentist informed me that Joseph has four–count ’em FOUR–cavities. While I tried to shrivel up and melt into the floor, he explained to me his unscientific observation that the third child in the family is almost always the one with the most cavities. He said he sees it all the time, though he can’t really explain why.
Oh, really? Because I can TOTALLY tell you why.
Child number three is the one where the wheels start coming off, and pesky little details like oral hygiene take a backseat to things like making sure the baby didn’t get left at the grocery store. In fact, when it comes to managing a family, I’ve long held the belief that if you’re going to have three children you might as well have eight. This not a theory I intend to test, mind you, but those of you who have feel free to chime in.
In good dental news, as we left Stephen overheard me making an appointment for sealants for some of his molars. He gleefully punched the air and shouted, “YESSSS!”
“What?” I asked him.
“I have MOLARS!” he crowed. I looked at him curiously.
“I don’t know what they are,” he said, “but they sound awfully cool.”
Yes, m’dear, they are. So please brush them. Because at this rate we’ll be buying the dentist a house on the beach before it’s all over.
This post was originally published on September 6, 2007.
I once read something about how having illnesses with fevers as a baby/toddler influences the formation of the adult teeth so they are more susceptible to cavities. It might make sense that a third child would be exposed to more germs from his/her older siblings at a young age. In my own family both my older sister and my younger sister had weaker teeth than I did (the “middle” child).
So don’t feel guilty about the oral hygiene!
I only have the one daughter, but I always remember my mum telling me she sat and patiently supervised everything I did until I learnt to do it myself, whereas she usually called out to my younger brother from another room to find out if he was finished yet. I suppose that was a case of “new mum” syndrome.
My third is the one full of cavities too. Poor little guy. I don’t even know why, because my first three kids are each eight years apart. I don’t think it’s because I wasn’t supervising. He always has the bad luck with his mouth.
When my son was three, we found his first 4 cavities, he had to be put under to have them fixed. Scary.
Hope it gets better from here for you.
Just back from a trip to get my eldest 2 their sealants on their molars. No fillings here (yet!).
However, my 3 year old (and third child) had a major tantrum/wobbly on the floor because he WAS NOT getting a turn in the dentists chair, and WAS NOT allowed to drink the yucky green water.
You just can’t please some kids!
Yeah..my parents have 5 kids. My father told me, when I got married, that once you pass the “three kids mark”, it really doesn’t matter how many you have, since you’re out of hands to catch the with anyhow!
Actually, my first 2 (of 6) had all the problems, poor babies. Turns out that it probably stems from when they were 3 and 1 and we lived in California for a year and drank (non-fluoridated) bottled water, because I was worried about the chemical run-off from all the farms around us. But the problems were resolved and things are good now with their adult teeth.
Supposedly chicken pox before age 1 will affect the development of the enamel on grown-up teeth.
Oh, and the more kids you have, the easier it is. Any parent of a large family will tell you this. I wish I had 10 instead of 6 (although I am very grateful for my 6).
I concur. Once your hands are full, your hands are full. It is a joy! We’re having #6 in 16 days (or less) and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Except for the orthodontics bills we’ll be paying.
I really never got any cavities growing up, and my brother used to get them all the time. We both grew up in the same household and brushed our teeth the same amount and everything…so my theory is that it has more to do with the individual…some people are just more prone to cavities. So don’t feel bad, because your children probably still have good dental hygiene and it is probably something in his genes 😉
Great minds and bad enamel–just posted a very similar little writing at my ‘place’ a couple of weeks ago–it is our #5 who is doing some checkbook lightening dental accessorizing this go-around.
Blessings!
Thank you for saying the wheels fall off at around the third child. You took a load off this morning to this wheel-less wagon.
I have four kids. The first 2 have 0 cavities. The third has had 6 and he’s only 7 years old. I think the dentist is on to something. We’ll see about number 4 when she is old enough to go to the dentist. Hmmmmmm?
Well don’t worry about getting Worst Mom of the year in the dental hygiene category as I’m I surefire winner.
I have 1 child and he not only had 2 cavities at his last visit, but had to basically have his teeth sandblasted to remove tartar. He has a fruit snack / gummy addiction so I am sure that added to it. However, I then decided that I would be responsible for brushing his teeth from now on as clearly the dentist who urged me to allow my son to be responsible to brush his teeth on his own at our last visit was wrong.
Since I have overtaken the responsibility I have noticed that the kiddo type of toothpaste is not strong enough to tackle the “sugar bugs” and tartar. I have to use adult whitening toothpaste with tartar control on my child at least a couple of times per week! Perhaps this was the problem all along?
I think you’re spot on. I remember the shock I felt when the dentist said that child #3 had no cavities at his first visit. I was sure he would have several because I was so lax about making sure he was brushing correctly (what with the baby nursing 24 hours a day and all). Now that #4 is gearing up for her first visit, I’m afraid our cavity-free status will be gone. She’s the one who has packed the milk sippy cup around because I’m just too tired to argue about it.
Our dental appt is tomorrow…so far no cavities, but my 3rd is only 1yr old! The last time we were there, the dentist instructed me that I should be flossing my (then) 3yr and 2yo’s teeth daily…um…yeah…like that’ll happen!
And I cracked up at the supervising the first and then shouting to see if they say its done by the second/third…so true!!!!
Yes, that 3rd child is the one where the parents are officially outnumbered and certain quality control issues really go down the drain. For me, my 3rd was actually 3rd and 4th (twins). We never left anyone at the grocery store, but there were times we’d get to church and someone would be missing shoes…LOL
I loved this post! I can so relate. It humbled me, and I will no longer brag about our cavity-free state. I totally agree about the third child. It gets worse from there. You can read my post today about the fourth. I had it so together when I only had two. And you’re right, a herd is a herd; 4 or 8 it wouldn’t much matter-however, like you, I’m not testing that theory!!!
Well, when you only have 2 and her teeth are coming in WITHOUT ENAMEL, it is your second child who has the bad teeth.
I’ve never had a cavity in my life, but I have a feeling that streak will soon be broken. Also, since my wife has had a full dozen cavities, I suspect my kids won’t make it to kindergarten without tiny little cavities of their own. Isn’t that how life usually works?
Taking the kids to the dentist is always a frightening experience (for me)! No cavities so far, but I’ll be VERY focused from now on with number three!
I totally buck the trends then. I’m the third child and at age 36 have never had a cavity. I’m hoping my kids go my teeth genes and not dads!
Wow, I always thought it was the MIDDLE child who got neglected. 😉
My first was the worst in the dental department! She had some health issues early on (fever combined w/ some medication) that weakened the enamel on her teeth. After her 4th birthday she had to undergo full-on dental surgery!!! One extraction, 4 crowns & 6 fillings! I felt like the biggest loser of a mom, because my dentist kept implying that my daughter was eating candy 3 meals a day and washing it down w/ a 2-liter of Coke! And I am a sugar-nazi (pardon the term!)…I still dilute her juice 50/50 with water and she’s about to be 6 and she’s knows better than to even ask for a pack of gummy fruit snacks. But after the surgery, I felt a million times better because the dentist came up to me and said, “There was absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent these problems! Chloe has the softest teeth I’ve ever seen. They were just crumbling under my drill.” While that was a scary statement, at least he knew I wasn’t an unfit mother!! And since we’ve invested in lots of dental work to prevent more problems! YIKES!
Well, I’ll never know if my second child has cavities, b/c when he goes to the dentist, he REFUSES to open his mouth. And screams and runs and hides. GOOD TIMES. Today we are trying again. Big Brother is going first and I gave him Strict Instructions to be Positive. But he *is* MY son, so I’m sure he’ll snark about something.
Oh how funny. I love the bit about being excited about Molars! LOL. My son is in Tech School (Air Force) right now and recently had his dental check up – he actually is going to get his first filling at 19! I guess those sealents paid off for a while, because I KNOW he never remembered to floss, lol.
My 18 month (first born and only child! so don’t feel bad!) daughter had four cavities on her first dental visit. It can just be the luck of the draw, enamel-wise. I’m not sure how old your son is, but if he chews gum, you might try the stuff sweetened with Xylitol. Our dentist recommended it, and we brush Spry tooth gel on our daughter’s teeth three times a day. But the gum would work too. Something in the Xylitol interferes with the reproduction of the strep mutans (?) bacteria, which is a big contributor to cavities.
Sometimes the youngest screams as I’m putting her to bed… “I needs to brush my TEEFFFFF.” And I say… “In the morning, Dear.” Now that’s fine parenting. 🙂
Cheers!
Jamie
I was the third child. I ALWAYS had more cavities than my brothers.
I’m thinking I should go apologize to my mom for all those dental bills…
yeah, you might as well have 8! when folks ask us how we handle so many and then tell me they only have 2 I tell them that is the problem, they only have 2! 8 is much easier
blessings, Penny Raine
http://www.pennyraine.com/blog
I can so relate! My oldest is 13 and my middle, 8. No cavities. Ever.
We just had TWO filled for the youngest. They chose to ignore the THIRD since it’s in a tooth that is, according to the dentist, “on its way out anyway.”
I felt like the world’s worst mother…until I began to talk to all these other mothers who had the same problem — no cavities until the third child. You’re absolutely right..the wheels are falling off!
I second midlife mommy’s suggestion about looking into xylitol!
I have learned a lot about dental care this year, and have gotten very motivated to help my children take very good care of their teeth. (The little disposable flossers are great for doing toddlers’ teeth!)
I enjoy reading askdrellie.blogspot.com — she’s a dentist who answers questions from readers in hopes of helping people have better oral health. 🙂
I don’t think there’s any science to it! I think you said it best with the wheels fall of around number 3! I think we might stop at 2! Oh, and by the way, I gave you an award, it’s over on my blog! Stop by to get it!
I have firmly held to the belief that once you have three and they now outnumber you, you might as well keep going because life just can’t get any busier. I have four…and wasn’t about to test the theory any further. But the fourth was a breeze – probably because i wasn’t flippin out over flossing little teeth or all the other stuff I subjected the first couple to. You just chill at three because you realize that they actually turn out better if you let them just be imperfect kids. And besides you simply don’t have time.
Then there is the theory that with more kids you will have built in and cheap babysitters. So let’s hear it for huge families – someone has figured it out!
I know our 3rd consoled himself with sweets more than the rest of them.
Oh, great. I guess that means now that Eli (#3) is old enough for visits that I’ll be paying for my dentist’s retirement 😛
As a side note: I was child #4. I have a filling in almost every.single.one.of.my.teeth. And when I got my teeth cleaned while pregnant, I once had EIGHT cavitites IN ONE VISIT. And I promise you that I brush my teeth as an adult 🙂
Amen sistah, preach it!
Our oldest daughter was reprimanded and watched so very closely. We were young parents with her. Now our youngest of four children is seven years old and we are plum tired and worn out, and not so young anymore. Some say we have almost given up. I beg to differ, we still reprimand our seven year old on occasion and ask him very firmly to please smoke his cigarrettes out on the back deck.
Joanne ;O)
Listen, I’m certain it’s simply the luck of the draw. When I was but a small child, I began consuming my body weight in sugar. Every single day. The spoon in my iced tea would stand at attention.
And I’m not bragging here, but I’ve never had a cavity. I’m 48. It’s a miracle, right up there with sightings of Jesus on a grill cheese sandwich.
Go figure.
My oldest and my 8th child have some enamel issue…they both had terrible baby teeth! Now as an adult my oldest has no cavities (its hard to believe this is the same kid that had 3 crowns at 3yrs of age) We are still working on our 8th child’s baby teeth she needs work done…but since she totally freaks out they are going to have to sedate her to work on the teeth…Can you tell we are in the middle of this whole ordeal even as I type?!
sorry about the cavities I can totally feel for ya!!
I always thought it was the first child who always get neglected…
And you know what else? No matter how much money you spend on braces, and no matter how much you harp at them, they still won’t wear their rubber bands. And they’re going to chew gum anyway.
The joy never ends.
I totally think you’re right: If you’re gonna have 3, you might as well have 8. I only have 6 (right now), but the third was the biggest bump in the road in parenting for me. After I learned how to have 3, having the others was a piece of cake. JMHO
My oldest had FIVE cavities at her first dentist appointment. She was only four or five at the time. My second already has a mouth full, too.
Growing up, I always had cavities and my brother never did. AND I WAS THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY BRUSHED MY TEETH. His idea of brushing his teeth was like ten seconds. He still has no cavities. Not a one. And my teeth are degrading and falling apart. Literally.
So I guess some just get em and some just don’t. 😦
No kid cavities yet, but #2 has a chipped tooth which the dentist has insinuated that he might want to crown. Now THAT would be an interesting day since you can barely get him to open his mouth wide enough for a toothbrush. Maybe now that he’s 4, he’ll cooperate more? I’ll keep my eye on #3. It is true that we’ve given up trying to brush her teeth in the morning and only do it at night. The wheels are falling off for sure! It was great to read everyone’s posts about that #3 phenomenon, though. We’ve been debating a #4 and often say we just don’t know if we could handle more. #3 rocked our world, and she’s a pretty easy baby, all things considered! Maybe she needs a sister after all.
Your dentist is probably on to something! LOL I have 6 children, and quality control does get a little lax around child number 3. Bless our #3’s little heart. He has had one or two cavities, plus 5 surgeries. He is our medical child.
I do have a funny story from a few weeks ago that you should enjoy. My DH left for choir practice at church with our 3 older children (17, 13, 9). This left me with the younger group (7, 4, 2). We have had a problem with the little ones messing up the boys’ closet. So DH had the idea to padlock the closet.
Just before I am to leave the house for service, the 2-tr-old had an accident and needed fresh shorts. Guess what? I did not have a key to the closet, so the 2-yr-old went to church in a shirt and his diaper. LOL I have NEVER had something like that happen to me! And for the record, the diaper bag did not have the requisite change of clothes. I had NO options!
Have a blessed day! Tami
I too have heard that once you have 3 kids, you can have any # more and it is all the same! Some think it is because you have to get more organized and routined to have 3 and the other fit right in. Maybe…we will see as we are hoping to bring our 3rd home this fall via adoption!
My sister in law told me once that “one is like none, two is like ten, and after that it doesn’t matter.”
I didn’t seem to have the wheels fall off until #4. Could be temperament? My #3 was the easiest, most compliant child I had.
As for cavities, I’ve got a weird story. I never had a cavity until I was pregnant with #2, then I got 3. He is the only child with any cavities so far…hmmm.
Kari