This Is How You Know You’ve Been Blogging Too Long

Hobby Lobby is my second favorite store in all the land.

I love everything about this store–the sales are amazing, and oh great day all the crafty gear makes me instantly want to weave potholders the minute I walk into the door.  They are probably running a craft-lovers racket, and I am the Chief Sucker.  My budget has taken a battering over the years, because, “Look!  It’s decoupage glue for 50% off!  And what if I need decoupage glue in the next decade?”

See?  Chief Sucker.

Yesterday Corrie and I went to Hobby Lobby to buy some gifts.  Now, here is where I should tell you that as much as I love their store, their grocery carts are horrible.  Nearly every one I’ve ever used has been top-heavy and wobbly.  There was one incident years ago in which my then-one-year-old son ended up hanging upside down by his pants, and I can assure you it was entirely the cart’s fault.  My preoccupation with the 50%-off florist ribbon had nothing to do with it.

We walked in, got a deathtrap cart, and Corrie asked if she could stand on the end of it.  I said no, because I am a safety-conscious woman who watches Dateline NBC.  I turned my back for 2.8 seconds to get a sales flyer (because I needed to know what entirely useful craft supplies were 50% off this week).  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of metal and my daughter crashing toward the floor.

In slow motion, I turned to my right to see that Corrie, ever obedient, had not climbed up on the end of the basket, she had climbed onto the side of it.  The whole thing was in the process of falling down on top of her.

And I, in that instant, wanting to redeem myself for the son-hanging-upside-down-from-his-pants incident, inserted my leg between my falling daughter and the falling cart.

She is safe.  My leg, however, is not.

It hurt SO badly that it took every bit of self-control I had not to sit down in the floor of the store and weep.  But I couldn’t, because they might think I was one of those crazy lawsuit people, and what if they flagged me as a troublemaker and wouldn’t let me buy 50% off scalloped scissors anymore?

I managed to hold myself together, though I was gritting my teeth and fighting back tears.  I even finished my shopping trip.  (That is courage, friends.  Courage.)  I came home and nursed my wounds.

But the point of this entire story (believe it or not, there is one) is that a few minutes ago I took a picture of my battered leg so I could blog about it–truly, there are some glorious bruises–when I realized in the nick of time that oh my word, I nearly posted a picture of my thigh on the internet.

I think I need a new hobby.


12 thoughts on “This Is How You Know You’ve Been Blogging Too Long

  1. Dandy says:

    Please don’t ever let me post a picture of my thigh on the internet.
    Who am I kidding, I recently did a blog post on how during chemo my hair fell out in patches.. and then I posted pictures! And really the post was about using a lint roller to remove the hair.
    I’ve been blogging too long and its only been 7 weeks.

  2. Just Jiff says:

    Oh man! I feel the same way about Hobby Lobby. And the carts are TERRIBLE and SMALL and NARROW. Ugh. Whatever.
    Show us the photos! Lord knows all of us don’t have perfect thighs either. 🙂

  3. Colleen says:

    I just had to share my hobby lobby secret: go on Saturday afternoon, a couple hours before they close. Since HL is closed on Sundays, they already change the stickers/sales over starting late Saturday so you can get sales from both weeks! And then you can buy twice as much stuff and not feel guilty. That’s what I tell my husband. Happy crafting!

  4. Chelsea says:

    My daughter did the exact same thing at Michael’s. Only my leg was not able to save her from the cart, and she was hurt when it fell on her. Ugly, horrible day.

  5. Heather says:

    We don’t have a Hobby Lobby, but generally all carts (even in good condition) are unsafe when a child stands on the side. I had the exact same thing happen to me when my son was 3 and I stepped over to the produce bin and I had a massive angry looking purple bruise on my leg to prove it. I feel ya on the pain, sister. I just crumpled on the floor in the produce aisle until I could put weight on it again. Brutal! I actually am the scary lady who warns other moms (or dads) when I see their kids doing that.

  6. Kristi says:

    Like story carrying my bleeding son and his bike up the front porch stairs after he road the bike down them. Totally bit the dust and took all of my weight and his in a barrel roll into the top step. Took him to the ER for a concussion and broken nose, gritting my teeth because the entire time I was in major pain. Took pictures of his swollen multi-colored face and almost of my multi-colored knee to post about why I failed to post any deals, and then scrapped the entire post and went to bed. So glad later that I did not, and years from now my 4 year old will be glad his swollen face was not published for all the world to see.

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