This blog puts me on the receiving end of so many curious PR pitches that if I were to print them all out, I would single-handedly kill all the forests in Brazil, or Oregon, or wherever it is all the forests are. It's many, many emails.
But the ones that pique my interest most are the declaration of new national holidays. Today I learned, for example, that October is National [Food-Item-Which-Shall-Remain Unnamed] Month. The irony is, the Food Item Which Shall Remain Unnamed is a food item that I loathe with such fervor that I'd rather go chew on the soccer cleats that are stinking up my laundry room even as we speak.
But now it has a month, all its own.
Well, not all its own, because I did a little poking around on some PR sites today and learned that October is also National Chili Month, National Sarcastics Month (whatever), National Orthodontics Health Month (if I tell my orthodontist I posted about it, do you think I can skip my October payment?), and National German-American heritage month (I raise my schupfnudel to you).
It is also Squirrel Awareness month. That one just needed a paragraph of its own, and I suggest you sit here and think squirrely thoughts for a minute before you continue reading, because it is very, very important that we are all properly Squirrel Aware.
I know it's a PR ploy, of course, and I suppose at times it's been successful. Some of the causes are important and have become meaningful traditions–Breast Cancer Awareness and Black History Month both come to mind.
But on the whole, I have to wonder: does this ploy really work? Do we really need a National Rice Month (September)? I mean, are there really throngs of people who rise up in celebration and finally see, for the first time….um, rice? We most certainly do not need a National Southern Belles Month (April), because if you have ever met a true Southern belle, you know that she will not be confined to one month, no ma'am, nevah evah.
I find it especially curious planning that March hosts National Eye Donor Month right alongside Workplace Eye Health and Safety Month. Interestingly, March also is home to National Optimism Month, which means, I presume, that after those 30 days you can go back to grouchy.
I laughed at these things all afternoon, until my 6th grader burst in the door after school. "MOM!" he shouted. "Tomorrow is National Talk Like a Pirate Day! I've been waiting for it all week!"
So I guess it works after all, at least in the 12-and-under crowd. I don't know what to say. Except, perhaps, Aaaargh.